Brokenness Aside

Tying Up Loose Ends

We got news that Kristen was home and asking for the children a few days ago. Lindsey was a mess. He avoided the entire situation for too long and it was all sinking in for him. He never thought about what would happen when Kristen came back into our lives. The phone rang off the hook all morning and I just knew it was Kristen. Her family and friends warned us that she was angry and accused me of stealing her family. I had grown closer than ever before to those kids and I was having a very hard time dealing with them possibly not being around anymore. I needed to talk to the girls. I went up the stairs to wake them and then start breakfast. Sweet Stella was already up and reading in her room so she and I went into LeeLee's room. At first I just called her name and asked her to wake up but when she didn't, we tickled her until she squirmed beneath the covers, we took the comforter off the bed, Stella played loud music but still nothing would get the girl up.
"I give up! We will just have to have a girl's day without her" I said loudly and with that, she sprang out of bed.
"Shopping?" she asked, excitedly. Stella and I laughed, leading her to the kitchen. Stella wanted pancakes as usual so we went to work mixing the batter and deciding if we wanted cinnamon, chocolate chips or blueberries.
"Your mother is asking to see you" I tell them when we have lol sat down.
"I don't want to see her, not now, not ever" Lee Lee said calmly.
"Me neither" Stella said.
"She will still be coming here sometime this week to talk to your father and I"
"Then let me know so I can stay with a friend" Lee said.
"Now, LeeLee, I understand why you wouldn't want to see her but you have to give her a chance. I'm sure she misses you"
"I don't need a crazy, drugged out...woman in my life."
"Addiction is very hard to conquer. I know it first hand. Give her a chance."
"Fine, but only for you"
"That's my girl. Now how about you Stella, will you try?"
"She's not my mom. I don't want her to be. I just want you"
"And you will have me"
"But what if Daddy is tricked by her?"
"You make her sound like an evil sorceress!" I say with a laugh. "Those books you read are really going to your head"
"Are not! I just don't want daddy to think she's changed! She's never wanted anything to do with me. I always felt like an inconvenience" she said sadly.
"Sweet girl, anyone who meets you falls in love with you. Same with your sister. Give her a chance. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you"
"Thank you, mommy. I'm done, I'm going to go get dressed now" She kisses my cheek and goes upstairs with LeeLee following.

We had spoken over dishes one night about her relationship with her mother and it made me very sad. She was treated like an after thought and an outsider and she had told me that's why she felt so close to me. She said I treated her like I wanted her there and we cried together. It was beautiful. I have to admit I did love that the girls thought of me in that way. I never got to have children of my own, though I thought of those babies, especially Melissa, everyday. Somehow this filled a little of the emptiness I had inside.

About an hour later, my girls came down the stairs all dressed for the day. LeeLee had helped Stella with a little makeup and she looked so grown up. It was hard to watch in all honestly because I had watched Lindsey's children grow up before my eyes. They greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and went to the living room to watch tv so I could get ready. I hadn't seen Lindsey all morning. I did get up earlier than I normally do, I just couldn't sleep, but he was usually up way before me.
"Be good, ladies" I told them and they waved me off. I thought I'd check the studio before I went for my shower. The door was locked so I knocked softly, then harder until he finally answered.

"Hi baby" I said when I saw him, giving him a peck on the lips.
"Hey...so I talked to her. She will be here tomorrow evening for dinner. She didn't sound as angry as I thought she would..."
"That's great!" I said, though I wasn't as convincing as I thought. My body was visibly tense when he said she would be coming over so soon. I thought I had more time. "So she's coming here or?"
"Yes here, I hope that's okay. The girls feel so at home here and since they chose to go to school here rather than going back down the coast...I thought it would be best for all of us"
"Okay, well then maybe so you three can have time alone with Kristen I could have Karen make arrangements for me to--"
"Don't. We need you here with us. We are a family and we have to show her that."
"We're a family" I repeated, kind of shocked by his words.
"Of course we are, baby."
"Well...I ought to hop in the shower. The girls are already dressed"
"Can I shower with you?" His look was mischievous.
"No way! I promised them a girl's day and I don't want to break that promise" He pouted so I kissed him again. "Get back to whatever you were working on and I will do whatever you want me to do tonight"
"Whatever I want?" He gulped.
"Anything" I whispered, kissing him passionately and running my fingernails gently over his back and his shoulders. We pulled apart and it seemed as though he didn't want it to end. "I love you"
"I love you too, Steph"

----

There was a knock on the door in the evening and I knew we weren't expecting anyone. It was after dinner, Lindsey was outside with LeeLee stargazing, I was upstairs in the bath and Stella was in the living room with a book.
"Stella, will you?" I yelled down the stairs.
"Yes mommy!" She yelled back and I smiled.
She opened the door and her eyes were as big as saucers. "What are you...?" she asked in a state of shock. There in the doorway stood Kristen. She was disheveled and smelled of strong stale alcohol and cigarette smoke.
"Hello there my sweet baby" Kristen said, her voice sickeningly sweet and it made Stella's stomach churn.
"Daddy!" She yelled, her tone uneasy, hoping Lindsey would come to her rescue knowing I wasn't decent yet. I was getting out of the bath, towel drying my hair and putting on a robe.
"Your daddy gave me the address...so where is she?"
"Who?"
"Stevie? Is she here?" Something in her eyes made little Stella very nervous.
"Weren't you supposed to be coming tomorrow? That's what..."
"Shut up, you little brat. Is the whore here or not?"
"Don't talk about my mom like that! She's a better mother than you could ever dream of being! You leave her alone!"
"Stella... but, I'm your mother" Her tone changed from hurt to anger in a matter of seconds and Stella tried to shut the door on her but she pushed herself inside.
"Mommy!" Stella screamed, running up the stairs and nearly colliding with me. Hearing commotion, I came downstairs quickly.
"Stella, whatever is the matter?" That's when I saw her. "What are you doing here?"
"I just came here to tie up some loose ends and I'm not leaving without my family!" Kristen said and for some reason I was terrified. She pulled something from her pocket.
"S-Stella go get your father" I waved her off of me as she clung to my side.
"But mommy..."
"Now!"
Stella ran for the backyard and before I knew it Kristen lunged toward me then everything went black.