Stupid in Love

Fuck Letterman

•Justin's POV•

Tension. That's all that I can say about this past week and a half.

One week and 3 days since we've lost our baby.

We haven't talked to each other much. The house isn't the same anymore and we don't even dare go into the nursery. Sometimes packages of baby toys show up that we ordered and Selena locks herself in the bedroom every time because she can't bare to break down in front of me again.

It's been a struggle.

We've been more and more distant every day but I know we don't want to push each other away. We love each other, we're just having a hard time coping with the loss.

The tabloids don't make it easier either. I can't turn off my phone completely so I've just blocked certain people that keep texting me.

So far that's Lil Twist, Hailey Baldwin, Yovanna, some other rapper friends of mine, and pretty much every girl I've ever hung out with.

Except Brinley and Taylor. They're trying to help as much as they can but Selena and I have ignored everyone.

We haven't left the house at all since we got the news.

When we're around each other we aren't intimate or loving. We sit on opposite sides of the couch or we just completely act like one another isn't there.

Just like now.

We're watching Disney movies and we aren't even remotely close to each other. Selena is on the opposite couch.

I stare at her as her dull eyes stare at the movie.

The movies are just distractions from the pain we feel.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?"

That catches her off guard and she looks over at me. Usually we don't talk during "movie time."

I'm giving her the space she insists on having even though I think that's the opposite of what she needs.

We both need each other right now.

But I'm not gonna push her limits.

"I.. Yeah. Hot chocolate sounds great."

Her voice sounds weak as I give her a small smile and she tries her best to return it.

"Great. I'll be right back then."

I walk into the kitchen and scramble around to prepare the hot chocolate. I swing the cabinet open and look through them for mugs but my heart drops when I see three cups with custom made writing on it.

Daddy's mug

Mommy's mug

Baby's mug

I stare at that word.

Baby.

My jaw clenches as I push them aside and grab two brown mugs from the back of the cabinet. I close them and try to take my mind away from the sadness that is creeping back in.

I will not cry.

I promise I will be strong.

I make the hot chocolate and even some popcorn and when I walk back into the living room Selena is in the same position with her eyes glued to the tv.

I set the mugs down and she glances at me as I hold the popcorn out to her. She gives me a weak smile and grabs the bowl as she avoids my eyes and looks back at the movie.