. d r a f t s i x.

30 3 2
                                    

"When I confessed
that I was the girl version
of Peter Pan,
he stared at me long
and hard.

Trying to suss
whether or not I
- was kidding around.

The exact same reaction
I'd predicted.

Confessing what I did,
You see,
Wasn't a joke.
I meant it.

The little girl still lived
inside of me.

Though I may have aged
from the outside
and my brain has developed
to thinking and adapting
to the world we live in,
I'm still the same
- little girl inside.
Who never wanted to grow up.
Who misses Neverland
with all the broken pieces
of what remains of a heart that once
- was.

I still get emotional
still miss my mum.

I am a lost boy,
still trying to figure myself out.

I'm expected to be
an adult
but really it feels like
the biggest joke of all.
Because I'm not one
and I don't feel like
- I'll ever be.

Being an 'adult'
feels like a game,
One I ever wanted to play.

It's like I've been kidnapped
by Captain Hook,
taken aboard his dizzying ship
of stealing youth.

I age from the outside
but remain me, within.
Split between two realms of a universe.
Two lives.
Ripped and torn
Torn and ripped 
to tiny shards
of thousands of pieces,
scattered like pixie dust
over time.

I am no longer whole.
I am slowly but surely,
close to
- loosing my mind.

But,
Maybe that makes me
More like
Alice in
- wonderland,
Who fell down,
A dark hole,
Maybe I'm
the late rabbit
late for
- everything."

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