Bad Jokes (JokerxHarley Quinn)

i'll sink this ship if I want

No, I don't need your supervision
I'll sink this ship if I want.
-Jenny and Johnny, My Pet Snakes

I opened my eyes and realized that I was in my bed.

At first, I couldn't remember why I wasn't under the covers, why I was damp and cold and wearing the clothes from last night. I blinked in confusion and wondered exactly how much I had to drink the night before.

Then, I remembered—the breakout attempt. The fall. Batman, and the walk home afterward.

I blinked slowly. I had faced some would-be rapists and scolded them. I actually screamed them away from me. I think the Joker's crazy had rubbed off on me. The thought didn't seem as unappealing as it might once have been.

I slowly retreated to my shower, which I made as hot as I could stand. I blanked my mind out and just stood under the hot stream until the water turned tepid, and then I climbed out, wrapped myself in a towel, took a deep breath, and checked my cell phone.

I winced at the number of missed calls. Wilson, Arkham's Office, Wilson, Wilson, Arkham's Office, and a whole host of unfamiliar numbers. Apparently someone had been trying to get a hold of me for a while.

A knock on the door startled me. I cautiously went to check who it was through the peephole. Dr. Wilson stood there. I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

"Harley, what the hell—" he started, and then cut himself off and turned red as he realized that I was only wearing a towel.

"Hi, David."

He stared for a few seconds before finally pulling his eyes back up to mine. It still took him a second or two before he remembered what he was going to say. "Where have you been? Do you know what happened last night?"

"The Joker escaped after killing Stratford," I said dully. I wasn't naïve enough to think that I'd be able to conceal my involvement in the whole escapade. People were bound to find out, and if I lied about it initially, I would be making myself a suspect. I didn't want to answer a million questions from all sides, but if I didn't cooperate, I probably faced arrest.

Wilson stared at me for even loner this time, and then said, "Dr. Stratford's phone showed that he texted you around nine telling you to come to Arkham. I take it that you obeyed."

I nodded.

Wilson looked at me speculatively, warily, as though worried about what he might unearth. Very carefully, he said, "Harley, I know this may come out badly, and... please don't take this the wrong way, but... did you... help him escape?"'

"I suppose you can argue that that's the case," I said casually. "I need to get dressed." I turned around and went back to my bedroom, shutting the door.

Seconds later, Wilson's voice issued from the other side: "Harley? What are you talking about?"

"Terrycloth is nice and all, but I don't think it's appropriate for outside of the house," I clarified. He ignored the sass.

"You helped him escape? Are you crazy?"

"Hey, I never said I was a willing participant. He took it into his mind to use me as a human shield." Having thrown on some underclothes, I opened my closet and looked into it pensively. As I debated my choices, I called, "Hey, David, do they know how he initially got out of his cell?"

"Umm... yeah. Apparently one of our orderlies was on his payroll. Howard. You know him?"

"He pulled Dr. Crane off me once during a psychotic episode. He was good at his job." I decided on a knee-length black skirt combined with a white tie-back top. The black said business, the white said innocence. If I was going to be interrogated, I would like to have as many weapons at my disposal as possible.