A/n: 90% of the time the song has almost nothing to do with the content of this story. Although I do try to fit the song to what's currently happening in the story. Okay. Enjoy.
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
When I woke up, he was smiling down at me. "Hi" he said. "Hi" I smiled up at him. "I need to tell you something, I've been thinking about this for a long time and~" he sighed "I~ Remember when my mom had just died, I told you I'm going to go to France" he asked. I'm confused, why is he telling me this now? "Yeah," I said "it was oddly specific" he chuckled "Cal, I'm leaving in a week". After his words I was 100% awake. I slowly sat up. "I'm not happy here, Cal. Everything reminds me of my mom. I don't want to wake up every night screaming. I want to be happy, Calum" I hugged him. I knew this was coming for so long. Guess it never sinked in. What am I gonna do without him? I have no one without him, sure I have my sister and his siblings, but we aren't so close. "Ok. Just promise me something" he looked down to me "what?" "Write to me. Not messages, not e-mails, and don't even call me... Ash, write me letters. Please" he looked confused "why letters? And why can't I call you" I closed my eyes "Because... I don't know. They're more intimate, I guess." I started drawing small patterns on his chest "It's just. When you write a letter I can see your hand writing, I can feel the warmth, I can imagine you reading it to me. There's more thought put in to it." He hummed. "Okay" he said squeezing me tightly. "I'll write to you". We lay in each other's embrace until my mom calls for us "Kids! Breakfast"
We stood up and put on some sweat pants. I know you're thinking what's a straight guy doing in bed with another guy, well... I have no explanation for this. We always slept like this. Since I can remember we were never shy to sleep in each other's arms. Maybe that's how we were raised maybe he sees me as a younger brother. I've seen him not once cuddling with his sister or brother. They look so cute. I wonder do we look as cute as him and his siblings?
When we came to the kitchen Lauren and Harry were already there. "Good morning boys. How'd you sleep?" My mom asked "As always" she sent a sympathetic look towards us. She always knew about Ashton's dreams, my mom used to be the one singing the song to him every night. I don't really remember how it happened that now I am the one sleeping with Ashton. I think one time my mom had to go to work and couldn't be there so I had to take care of Ash and now it's just natural.
"So, Ashton, I know you still have all week but have you started packing? You will be there for almost a year. And when are you coming back exactly?" My mom asked. Ashton scratched the back of his neck before answering "I haven't started packing yet although I probably should and I'm gonna come back before Calum's graduation." 10 months. 300 days. 7200 hours. 432000 minutes. 25920000 seconds without Ashton. Without my brother. Without my crush. Without my best friend. Without the person who stopped me from self harming when I was at my lowest. Without... Him.
