Today is the day. Ashton is leaving. Our room is now only my room. Our bed is now only my bed. Our closet is now only my closet.
"Hey Cal, you coming? We need to leave now you don't want to make Ashton late" "One sec" I shouted to my mom sprinting down stairs. What does she know?! Maybe I want to make Ashton late. What am I even thinking? Of course I want to make Ash late, but I couldn't do that to him. I know how much he needs this. He needs to escape. I want him to be happy.
When I came down to put on my shoes, Ash and my mom were already there. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a bring me the horizon t-shirt that had a girl from her shoulder blades to her nose with her hand kind of covering her mouth on it. Of course black skinny jeans and combat boots. He also had a backpack slung over his shoulder and a big suitcase in his other hand. During the time I was putting on my shoes Ash's siblings came, Harry - Ashton's youngest sibling, was sniffling and Lauren - Ashton's younger sister was on the verge of tears. We all stood there not saying a word afraid that if someone said something we would all burst out crying. And me, jumping on him and not letting him go. After a wile of just standing Ash let go of his things and spread his arms open for a group hug. Me and my mom joined them after a few minutes. When we all parted Ash knelt down to be closer to Harry and Lauren "Listen to me now, be happy and don't forget to do your homework. I'll be back in no time." He said quietly and hugged them both again, stood up, took a last glance at the house and with a sad smile walked out the door, me following.
We sat in the car. Not saying a word. Just enjoying each other's presence. My mom turned up the volume so we could jam out together for the last time in 10 months.
...Use the sleeves of my sweater
Let's have an adventure
Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered...
Listening to myself, it sounds like Ashton is dying. Maybe because I don't want him to leave and I want him to protect me. It's completely selfish really. I don't want him to leave because it would benefit me. I would have someone to protect me. I would have someone to talk to. I would have him.
...One love, two mouths
One love, one house...
Me, me, me... In the words of Panic! At The Disco "If you love me, let me go". If I love him, I had to let him go.
...Inside this place is warm
Outside it starts to pour...
That's life. My guitar teacher used to say: "Life is hard". Then he started saying "Life is cruel" and in the end he would say "Life is Life". I never really understood what he meant by saying life is life. But I feel like I can use it hare, in this situation.
