Taciturn (Niall Horan)

CHAPTER 17 - Zerrie

Niall's POV

Click.

Flick.

Click.

Flick.

Click.

For the past five minutes, I've been clicking on the remote; switching random channels. Fishing. New techs. A black & white movie. Latest shoe trends. A drunken driver crashing a light-post. A platypus which is a secret agent. Miley Cyrus sitting on her famous wrecking ball.

I also found a cooking show. I stayed there for awhile but when the chef started combining avocado, mayonaise and cinnamon; I almost puke out my dinner earlier. I mean, what kind of food was that? If I'll be given a billion pounds to eat that, well, thanks man. Its like you want me to eat my own shit.

Really. Never in a million years.

I change the channels one more time when I stop to one of the entertainment news.

It’s about our visit in one of our chosen charities two days ago; Nightingale Asylum. They're showing a clip of us singing. I didn't expect to see her face be captured by the camera.

I groan upon remembering what happened after the event. After not seeing her for five weeks, I finally got the chance. God knows how badly I missed her. But at that moment of our mini reunion, I felt rejected.

I hugged her but I didn't feel her hug back. I tried to kiss her but she refused to let me kiss her lips that I end up kissing her cheek. I understand her with that part. Maybe she didn't like showing affection in public.

But what it hurt me most is when she spoke those words.

"That kiss… It’s the right thing to do at the moment, I guess."

Those words are like stabs to my chest. I'm too overwhelmed and didn't know how to deal with our conversation. I thought we got something like our feelings were mutual.

I walked away and she didn't even dare to stop me. The lads noticed my sudden change of mood. They tried to ask me if everything's fine and I convinced them with my lies.

For the past two days, my hands are itching now to dial her number and give her a call. But no. I want to hear it first from her. I'm really waiting for her call to tell me that she didn't mean to say it and I just misinterpret her statement. A call to tell me that I'm right; there's something between us. A call of confirmation that she feels the same way as I feel for her.

But again, she didn't even give the damn call I've been waiting. Am I the only one trying to work this out? Am I putting my feelings at risk?

I give up on the TV and turn it off. I rest my head on my couch and stare at the ceiling.

"Nona," I breathe out.

It's almost ten in the evening and I don't know what to do. Liam went back in Wolverhampton with his family. Harry's in L.A. and probably going back home in Cheshire before Christmas; which leaves Louis and Zayn to be here in London.

I rang Louis' phone and he immediately answered.

"Hey, Nialler!" he greeted.

"Hi, Lou. Are you up with something tonight?" I asked.

"Actually, I'm leaving tonight to see El and her family in Manchester." he explained.

"Oh."

"I better keep going, mate." he said.

"Yeah, have a safe trip and regards to Eleanor. I'll see you soon." I told him.

"That's going to be on New Year's Eve. Oh well, I'm gonna miss you. Happy Holidays!" he beamed one last time.