Djinn Of Sin

Chapter 4

Its getting close to five and I'm not even ready yet. I sat here for the past forty minutes running through my closet of doom. I have so much stuff but most of them are old. Since the move, I hasn't been able to go wardrobe shopping. My main focus was to 'settle in' before anything else. Alicia Keys boomed through my mother's stereos followed by the smell of pine sol made way to my room. I couldn't think straight. I know I am taking this visit to seriously but I can't help it. I am getting this funny feeling in my stomach to which I can't describe it. My legs feel like noodles my heart won't stop racing. I guess this is to be expected from someone like me. I am a plus sized anti-social black female with curly hair and freckles. I dress like a tomboy in all black. And the more I think about it, the more things makes sense. He doesn't like me that way, I thought. He is just being nice, trying to show a follow artist his talent, that is all. You are just blowing this out of proportion. 

I can tell myself such things but in reality I don't really know. To which is the reason why I keep pacing back and forth in my room having a panic attack on what to wear. 

"Nu-nu..." My mom's voice interrupted my inner thinking.

"Yeah ma?" I said. Giving up, grabbing a pair of black leather pants with a black silk button up top. I love this shirt because of the beautiful diamond buttons and the Capricorn symbol on the color that shimmer a stream of silver.

"You gonna eat before you leave? I know its getting late and knowing you, you will be staying out." She said swerving her thick hips to the song, snapping her fingers and bobbing her head.

"Nah I am good I will eat when I get back I won't be staying out tonight." I said laughing a little by her dancing. She is like an old woman trying her best to drop it like its hot but knowing if she does, she won't get back up. 

"Alright now... I expect you to be home at a decent time then. It ain't safe out in these streets no more. And I'll be damned if something happen to my oldest child." Momma was always this way, very protective. The fear of letting her kids face the world was too great. She saw too much to even let us learn but then in due time she finally let us free. But always she would say 'use what I taught you and the most important thing to remember to never let no body use you.' I wanted so badly to say 'you should have let us stayed in Oklahoma but I rather hold my tongue before getting my teeth knocked out for speaking out of term. 

After getting dressed and getting my hair in place I walked over to my mom giving her a nice peck on the cheek. She wrapped her chunky arms around me speaking into my hair. "I love you baby stay safe.." she kissed my afro causing me to whine.

"Uugh...moooooommm no. You don't know how long it took me to get it like this. Now you messed it all up." I said looking in the mirror puffing up parts of my hair fixing the curls.

"Oh girl hush up. If you went and got your damn hair straighten like I told you to do then you won't be struggling right now." She said dancing off back into her room. In the mixture of pine sol I could easily smell the weed that came from her room. She sing louder to the song causing me to wince a little.

"Looks like a girl, but she's a flame

So bright, she can burn your eyes

Better look the other way
You can try but you'll never forget her name
She's on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls say
Oh, we got our feet on the ground
And we're burning it down
Oh, got our head in the clouds
And we're not coming down".

She was singing one of my favorite songs and she was ruining it. Shaking my head I walked out the door heading to the bus stop. It didn't take me long to hit downtown to head over to the light rail. Running down the steps I could hear the train departing. I swore under my breath running to the bottom of the steps chasing it down but it was too late. I was now left alone in the quiet station.