Buzzkill [Winter Soldier]

Chapter 47

James couldn't believe it. After Ruth told him that she was leaving in two weeks, he spent the rest of the day doing nothing but sit at the kitchen table in silence and think about what she said. In two weeks they would both be alone again, which a few months ago neither of them thought that would ever be a bad thing.

While James sat in silence, Ruth waited for him to say something, anything. For the whole day her stomach was in knots and she couldn't even think about eating. Her heart ached so much she just tried not to let it show on her face.

When they went to sleep that night, James still hadn't said a word. Ruth just lay in her sleeping bag, waiting to fall asleep and for the day to be over.

As James stood in the kitchen getting breakfast the next morning, he paused for a moment and broke his silence.

    "I'm going to miss you." His words were soft. In the back of his mind he knew that if he didn't say anything now he could regret it when either of them ended up dead from the future that they wouldn't be able to plan.

    The rest of the day went along almost as normal as it had been before. They talked to each other in casual conversation as if there wasn't going to be an end. But instead of both of them doing their separate things throughout the house, they always seemed to be close by to one another. If Ruth sat on the couch to read, James would sit right next to her and write or draw in his notebook. If James was sitting at the table, Ruth would pull up the chair right next to him and sit.

    As this continued through the next week, whenever they would leave the apartment they would continue to stand side by side as if one of them would get lost if the other drifted even a foot away.

The night before Ruth planned to leave, she packed all of the things she had securely in her bag, her helmet containing the USB was attached on the outside. For food for the trip, Ruth packed a couple of granola bars, chips, water, and a candy bar that both she and James had come to love. It was going to be over a day's worth of a journey, but Ruth knew she wouldn't be hungry. James had suggested that she take the Bach CD with her, but she insisted that he would need it more. In the morning, all she had left to do was put on her boots, jacket, and hat, roll up her sleeping bag, and head off.

    When they curled up in their individual sleeping bags to sleep for the night, Ruth faced the outside so if James opened his eyes, he wouldn't see the redness in hers as she quietly sobbed thinking about the future instead of falling asleep. As much as Ruth wanted to hide it, each time her body heaved to take a breath, James could hear her. He placed his hand gently on her back and she turned around to face him, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks gently soaked with tears. James reached out his arm for her to move closer to him, and as she did he held her close, and suddenly Ruth felt the safest she's ever been. Within only a few minutes, she fell asleep.