Whirlwind Of Emotions

Far Away

Ive never been more in awe than the day I knew I liked you as more than a friend I wasnt expecting anything to feel this way but life has a funny way of showing you nothing is ever what you think. The first time I ever got butterflies in my stomach that didnt go away was when my skin brushed past yours and I stared in awe at the place where your arm had just recently been. From that day forward its been impossible to get you out of my brain it seems you are just stuck in there and no matter how many other people I attempt to like my heart and my brain always agree that no one comes even close to you.

You, you represent everything that I love you are beautiful, lovely, good sense of humor, smart and you care about people. I must admit however, that I do sometimes get jealous, I get this feeling that you dont think I even exist, I wonder though what would happen if you got someone special in your life. Would I be able to contain myself or would I just go crazy thinking about how that person is the one that is with you and not me. Thought this days I dont get jealous cause you are not in any relationships, I do get jealous of the people you hang out with, I know its wrong to think this way but I cant help it. I always have this desire to be next to you and help you in any way but you are simply way too far away and I know Ill never reach you, I know no matter how hard I try you will never love me as much as I love you, I know youll always chose everyone else over me but even knowing this my heart doesnt want to let go, it doesnt want to see you walk away from it.

I have tried endlessly to get you out of my heart, I have tried so hard to simply forget, but no matter what happens everything Ive always liked about you, always comes back to my head. I wish I could forget you to make this easier on both of us, I wish you would at least notice how every time I see you my eyes scream at you, but you dont, I cant and nothing will ever change that.

People have already told me to take a shot, to talk to you, to at least try, but they dont know how many odds are against me in this situation, they dont know how hard it is to feel the way I feel, they just dont understand. Sure I could tell them whom I like, I could come clean about everything to them, but Im scared of the consequences, Im petrified of what theyll think for I dont want to lose them. I dont want them to judge me and I dont want them to think less of me. I know everyone says that your friends support you no matter what and I dont have a doubt in my mind that they would be amazing about it, but that doesnt make telling them whom my all-time crush is any easier.

Someday maybe Ill tell them, someday maybe you wont be so far away but for now nothing will change and everything will remain the same, you wont like me back, you wont even know how I actually feel about you, and although that part is my fault I cant help it. I wish I had the guts to just walk up to you when you are alone, come closer and tell you that I loved you and wanted to take you out, but my courage is too low for such a thing and thats the only reason I havent told you.

One day Ill have the guts to just do it, maybe Ill ask you to prom I dont know, all I know is I want to make you feel special and appreciated, I want you to realize that I care about you even if you think no one else does, I want you to know that no matter what you will always have me in your corner and you will always be able to count on me because that is just how much I truly and honestly really love you.