Whirlwind Of Emotions

No More

I can no longer do this. Its all just to much, the way you look at me and make my heart melt. The way my soul cries for you when you are not near me. The way every little detail about you is important to me no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, no matter how stupid or wrong it may seem to everyone else to me its part of what makes you perfect, part of what makes you, you.
Its been years now and what i feel for you hasnt deminished at all, but ive only managed to make it increase and leave me crushed with the realization that it will never happen. I will never be able to call you mine, i will never be able to love you the way i wish i could love you and most important of all i will bever be able to tell you how much it is you mean to me. I just realized this, i love you, i do and thats something thats certain and true, but if i told you this i would ruin everything. I like the friendly relationship we have because it allows me to spend time with you and i know that if i told you the truth nothing would ever be the same. And i really dont want anything to change.
I would much rather spend time with you as a friend than not spend time with you at all because i just want to see that you are okay and that you are happy.
This past few months have been the worst because i saw that you were not happy, i saw that you were not well and it killed me from the inside out because there was nothing i was able to do to help you and it was literally the worst feeling in the world.
However worrisome my feelings were they enabled me to tell someone about you. I thought it was finally time to be able to talk about you with someone and damm was i right. She lets me vent about everything and tries to give a simple solution which i most of the time complicate but she still helps, friends do help you through tough times i guess. However one day i hope you will enable me to help you more because it kills me how little i can do for you sometimes because i really love you and want to help you.