Whirlwind Of Emotions

Heartbreak

I'm heartbroken, I can't bear with the pain, seeing you every day makes me feel like I'm cheating on the person I'm with. Sure they know about you, they understand what I am feeling but it just feels wrong. I am not a person that likes cheating, but I feel like I am cheating on them because I simply can't forget you. There must be something I could do to forget you, there must be something I could do to simply get you out of my mind, out of my thoughts and out of everywhere i see.
Yesterday we finally finished partials and I could finally text you again after a week of leaving you alone so you could study and i wasn't intruding. I felt complete the moment you responded, I felt my heart skip a beat everytime I heard the ringtone I have for you. Although I felt my world have meaning again everytime I heard that ringtone I could also not help but feel extremely guilty over the fact that I was basically cheating on the person I'm with. I know they understand everything and that they also feel this way, I still feel guilt everytime I see you.
This however does not mean I love the person I am with any less, because I do they still mean the world to me. They still are everything to me it's just that my heart is extremely confused about what to feel at the moment. It can't decide what to feel and what to do about it and it is driving me crazy wondering what to do.
Today we had social work so we will be able to graduate and I was sitting near you on the bus, this made my day, hearing your voice made my heart flutter and I was smiling the whole ride, but the way back you seemed sad or tired and I felt sad too, I felt so bad because I simply couldn't get the courage to talk to you and try to make you feel better. The entire ride I felt my heart aching for your voice but I never heard it, I never managed to be able to do it and it is still killing me that I wasn't able to help you or figure out what was wrong but I'm weak and never mastered the courage to talk to you about it. I might text you later to figure out what was wrong or what I could do to help, though it is highly unlikely.
So at the end I want you to know I still love you and you still mean the world to me, but there is someone else now and that person drives me crazy, they make me feel special and actually notice me but that doesn't mean you will be forgotten cause you won't, you still have a special place in my heart and I will always be here if you need me cause now you both mean the world to me and I will always love you both.