Letters To Autumn (2016)

17

Dear Autumn,

I feel like I can't even talk to you today. Were you even here? I certainly didn't feel you at all. Where are you?? I've heard you'll be gone again tomorrow, and I miss you.

Please come back to me.

You haven't missed much, Autumn, except me complaining about the heat.

My senior pictures got posted today, and it made me think a lot about beauty and confidence and how I think of myself. I've never been quick to jump to calling myself beautiful. I think I'm somewhere in between beautiful and horrendous. Average, passable, the kind of person people "pretty" or "cute", but never the first thing that springs to their mind when they hear "beauty" or "gorgeous". I'm "a different kind of pretty".

Which is fine, Autumn, I don't ask to be beautiful, I don't need to be, but sometimes it's nice to feel that about yourself. I'm sure if I look at the pictures too long, I'll notice tiny imperfections that seem like the world to me, but overall I really like them. They didn't make me feel ugly like most pictures of myself do. And it seems conceited to say but it was nice to get comments and likes from people I didn't think looked twice at me. Not that it matters, but it feels nice.

Maybe someday I can convince myself I don't look as bad as I think I do.

Hey Autumn, did you know you're beautiful, even when you're hidden away?