Destiny Book One: Heart Of Flame (Ahsoka)

Washing Out The Pain

The tidal wave of happiness swept through her like Naboo's summer breeze, passing through her with a rush of warmth, then fading into silence.

And while the joy lingered cautiously, it didn't even begin to muffle the empty silence that cloaked her as she opened her eyes to the darkness.

Utter black greeted her, its total solidarity discomforting, and for the first time in a while she had a moment to reflect.

I wonder what happened next, she thought with a little sting of guilt. If Kanan was coping. If anyone had sensed her death. If Maul survived. If Anakin- no, Vader- ever thought of her again. If she would ever be remembered.

Every question was a thorn in her side, a viper wasp's sting, every thought agony- the suffocating silence and unyielding darkness weren't helping either.

Then the pain began.

It started small- little cuts and bruises, left and right, scrapes on the knees, all collecting on top of each other and turning into burns, scars, suffocating pain, followed by a single cry and a blinding snap of scarlet, quickly swallowed again by that monster of darkness... But not before one image threw itself into her consciousness: Kanan, his pain hers, face covered by a white bandage that hid misty, sightless eyes.

As quickly as it came, the pain receded, and blinking open her sapphire eyes Ahsoka was relieved to see her own, scarless hands in front of her, and for just a moment she paused for breath before being plunged into ice cold dread.

A great sorrow overtook her as she struggled to stay standing, pain and horror in equal measure flowing through her as she recognised what she was feeling.

"Obi-Wan?" she breathed in shock, but no reply came- only the certainty that the woe she felt deep in her soul had been something he had felt in his own heart, and for a moment she thought he could hear his voice, older and wiser but still overjoyed.

"Ahsoka..."

Light-years away, Ben Kenobi shook his head. No. He had probably imagined it.

But it brought him comfort all the same.

Back in the depths of Malachor Ahsoka's own excitement died like a firefly without a light, stepping into shadow. Unauthorised, a stray thought of Maul crept into her head, filling her with a deep-rooted hatred: for the pain he caused, for the lives he took, for the fire of vengeance that still burned wildly inside him... yet some part of her almost felt sorry for him.

A shot of pain lanced through her midsection like a saber's slice, reinforced by decades' worth of fear and anger and hatred- pure hatred the likes of which Ahsoka had never felt, the hatred and bitterness that caused death and pain and sorrow in a scarred galaxy such as hers.

The incredible wrath and misery pulsing into her being was physically painful, an icy fire from the inside, like acid being poured through her veins, hate and suffering flowing through her and twisting her every fibre until she felt she would be swallowed by the darkness that oppressed her.
She dropped to her knees in agony as a bolt of scarlet flashed across her eyes and her thoughts cleared briefly: long enough for her to get a hold on her emotions and battle against the hate inside her, the hate which changed form in her mind to a deep attachment and a fierce desire to claim and protect what was hers despite the costs.

And she knew that Maul lived.

Another round of despair hit her before she could even draw breath. The pain of one who had lost everything and could lose no more. Of one who knew that the only thing he had left was to serve. To obey. To follow the Darkness until he was strong enough to overcome his master, lead another down the dark path, and be destroyed by his own apprentice. Words cannot describe the hopeless, yet almost instinctual pain of terror and fury and hatred of every aspect of one's existence.
But if words could describe it, Ahsoka would need but one.

Vader.

And while the agony of what it meant to succumb to Darkness ravaged Ahsoka like a wild rancor set loose on a herd of nerfs a single image fluttered into her half-crazed, terrified mind.
A young man, almost an identical clone to her long-lost Master, removing Vader's mask while the Sith himself lay grievously injured.
And Anakin's blue eyes blinking back at him from a crippled face, in the arms of his only son, and in the instant Ahsoka knew. How, or why, or what role she had to play in it was clouded, uncertain. But she knew who she was. And she knew what Anakin's son could be.

Luke.
The hope.
The guardian.
The last Jedi.

Ahsoka.
The Ashla.
The protector.
The daughter of the Force.

And as all the pain in Ahsoka's heart burned to nothing, it was replaced by a glowing amber flame, and she would never be scarred again.

*1. I'M SO SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU ALL HANGING FOR OVER A MONTH BUT SCHOOL HAS BEEN EVIL SINCE TERM STARTED
2.  HOLY KRIFF 1K VIEWS HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??? THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!

Now that we have that over with...
AAAAGH Rebels S3
I WAS NOT PREPARED
IM STILL NOT
THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US
Have fun!*
-Silver