The Next Step: The Next Generation

I don't deserve to live... (1)

Riley's P.O.V.

I wake up by the sound of my phone. I grab it and turn the alarm off. '7:45 am'. On a saturday. Great! I look over to James, who is still asleep. How is this even possible?
I decided to get ready and to make breakfast.
You think I should be used waking up so early on Saturdays by now, no.... not really actually not at all.
I go downstairs and hear a noise coming from the living room. As I walk into the room I see my youngest daughter sitting on the couch watching 'Dora the Explorer'.
"Good morning sweetie" I say walking over to her and kissing the top of her head.
"Morning mommy"
"How long have you been awake"
"I don't know... I woke up and didn't wanted to wake up Liv, because she would be mad at me the entire day.... so I came downstairs" she tells me with a wide grin.
"Okay sweetie" I laugh "I'm gonna make breakfast now" she nodds concentrating on the TV again.
I walk into the kitchen and start making breakfast.

Jake's P.O.V.

"For god's sake! Shut up" I groan trying to find my phone in the darkness. I am not a morning person... not even close! I hate everyone in the morning, literally everyone!
I finally found my phone and turned the alarm off. As much as I want to sleep again I know I have to get up.
I make my way to the bathroom and of course the door is locked... having a sister sucks!
"Jessy hurry up!" I yell and the door suddenly opens. Wait what? I thought I have to argue with her before she opens the door.
Without saying anything she walks past me, her face down. That's weird, but she is probably just having a bad day.
After getting ready I go downstairs seeing everyone sitting on the kitchen table. My dad was about to say something but I just glared at him, so he decided not to annoy me right now. I sit down and start eating.

Julien's P.O.V.

The morning was like every other morning. Me yelling at Tory because she needs to long in the bathroom. Tory yelling at me, 'cause I am an idiot. Mom yelling at both of us, because she thought that we should stop arguing. And dad... well being dad, trying not to come between any argument.

Now I am at the studio and we are rehearsing our finals routine. It's actually going great... for a saturday morning.
"Okay guys let's make a break for like 30 minutes before starting with the other routines." Riley tells us before going in to her office.
We all decided to go into the juice bar, well except Jessy.

We are sitting together talking about pretty much everything.
"Okay, does anyone know what's wrong with Jessy right now?" Lisa asks
"Actually I was wondering about that too!" Nico adds.
"She's been acting weird, since this morning." Jake explains "She just has a bad day I guess..."
"Jessy having a bad day is probably one of the weirdes things ever, she is always the happy one!" Liv tells us. And she's right. Jessy is just the one who always has a smile on her face.


Jessy's P.O.V.

Do you ever feel like that nobody cares about you?
Do you ever wanted to hurt yourself, because you feel like you deserve the pain?
Do you ever think about how ugly you are?
I can't handle this situation. Not even dance helps. Why me? Why? Am I that awful?
Why does this happen to me. I know why, because I am ugly and weird.
I hate me! I should kill myself! It would make the world a better place, but even for killing myself I am to dumb. I deserve to be dead, I am a nobody. A freakin nobody.
Dance always helped me through everything!
I thought that nobody could take away my passion. My one true passion. But they did.
I feel the tears running down my cheeks.
The only thing I feel is pain. It hurts looking at myself through the mirror. I am ugly and stupid.
I am so angry at me.
"Why are you still alive? You don't deserve to be happy! Please kill yourself! You're stupid, ugly and dumb! The world would be better without you!" I yell at myself. This just makes me cry harder. I know what I just said is true. I hate me!

Suddenly the door to the bathroom opens and turn around to see Lisa and Liv standing there.
"Oh my god Jessy! What's wrong with you?" Liv asks worried running over to me. She tries to hug me but I push her away.
"Don't! Just don't! I don't deserve you guys! I don't deserve friends! I don't deserve to live!" with these words I run out.

Liv's P.O.V.

"Jessy wait!!!" I yell after her but she doesn't care.
"Oh my god!?" Lisa asks in shock "what can we do?"
"You will go informing the others and I will run to Studio A mom needs to know that" she nodds and we both make our way.
I am so confused about what just happened. What Jessy just said is awful. How can she think something like that?
"Mom!? Dad!?" I run into the office and my parents look really confused.
"Please call Em!" I tell them.
"Honey what's wrong?" my dad asks confused.
"Jessy is wrong. She just told us that she thinks that she doesn't deserves to live!" I yell at them.
"Oh my god! Where is she?" my mom asks worried already calling her sister.
"We don't know" by now I am crying too.
"Hey hey hey, stop crying!" my dad tells me.
"How? Jessy probably wants to kill herself!" I yell at him. He just comes over and hugs me. I just cry harder.
"We will find her!"
"Okay. Emily and Hunter will be here soon. But we have to start looking for her. Now!"
We start running to find the others who are already looking for my cousin everywhere.
The only one not looking is Jake. He just sits there and mutters something. He looks so shocked.
I can't blame him, it's his sister after all.


Jessy's P.O.V.

I just run and run. I can't deal with anyone right now. I don't want help. I don't deserve help. I am just a little annyoing stupid girl.
After a while I trapped over something and fall on the ground. I don't care. I just lay there, hoping to die.

I woke up by the sound of people saying my name.
"Jessy wake up! Please!" this is my dad.
I just start crying again.
"Why am I still alive?" I yell trying to get out of my dads arms, but he didn't let me.
"Leave me alone! I don't deserve a family! I dont deserve to live!"
I am trying to escape until I realise that I am to weak and I break down in my dads arms.

The next morning I woke up laying in my bed. Next to my brother. I can't really remember anything that happened last night. I just know that I am still alive, and this is not good!


Jake's P.O.V.

I am shocked, confused, but mostly angry. Who did this to my sister? Who made her believe that she isn't worth to live?
After the events last night I couldn't just sleep like everything is alright. I felt like I needed to protect her, even though it's probably to late for that, I still need to try.
I am laying on my sisters bed, I didn't sleep at all. I am just scared that she will do something to herself.
Suddenly Jessy tries to go out of the bed, but before she could I take her arm.
"Leave me alone!" she whispers.
"No!"
"What?"
"I said 'No!" I tell her "Not before you tell who did this to you!"
"Who did what?"
"Making you believe you're nothing"
"Nobody... it's the truth. I am nothing." she whispers
"You're not!"
"I am!"
"Jessy!"
"Please let me go, I don't want to live anymore!"

A/N Cliffhanger...

This is something new to the book and I hope you like it. Tell me what you think about it
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