Inside the Memories (18+)

Part 4

The past few days were almost of a blur for you. You tried your best to focus yourself on working things out with your relationship with Youngjae, but you found yourself looking at your phone thinking about texting wonho. You would quickly put your phone away and go back to listening to Youngjae but it was as though his voice was off in the distance.
Youngjae stopped in the middle of his sentence sensing that you weren't paying attention.
"(Y/n)," Youngjae said snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Hmm? Oh yea what is it?" You said with a smile on your face trying to act as though you had been listening.
"It's him isn't it?" Youngjae said quietly as he stirred his hot tea.
You looked down at your drink without saying anything. You hated that you couldn't focus your thoughts on Youngjae but a part of you kept thinking about Wonho and how it had only been a few days and they were amazing compared to being with Youngjae for almost 7 months and them being the hardest thing for you.
"I'm gonna go," Youngjae announced standing up and putting on his coat.
"What, why? Youngjae I'm sorry, I..."
"Obviously you need time, I'm not in any rush to push you back into being in a relationship with me if you aren't sure you would be happy, but I know for a fact that you be." Youngjae said as he fixed his collar, "but you need to know, just cuz I'm giving you time to think doesn't mean I'm giving up on us, I love you, (y/n). If there's anything truer in this world, I know that it's that."
You met youngjaes gaze and could see just how confident he was saying that. You bowed your head not being able to find the right words to say.
"If you need anything you know you can call me, no matter what, I will stop whatever I'm doing and come to you, I promise, I don't wanna mess up again." Youngjae said as he walked around the table and brushed his fingers down you jawline.
His fingers dipped under your chin and turned your face to him and Youngjae leaned down and kissed you. It was a gentle kiss but there was so much passion behind it that you felt your heart being torn knowing that youngjae had part of your heart and wonho was slowly taking another part. Youngjae pulled back and met you eyes one last time, his brown eyes still had that bit of sunshine in them, like he knew everything in the end would work out. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck hugging him tightly.
"I'm sorry Choi YoungJae," you whispered.
"I know jagiya, I love you," youngjae answered and pulled away from you.
You watched as youngjae headed to your front door and looked back with one last smile, you told yourself to get up, to run after him but your body wasn't responding. You watched in agony as he walked out of your apartment and the door closed behind him. Tears spilled down your face, you hated that you were in this torn situation, you hated that either way one of these amazing men would be hurt by the outcome.

-Later that night-

You were laying on your couch watching a kdrama, you kept looking at your phone debating on calling wonho. You had told him you were going to be busy all week but you were really missing him. You let out a sign and changed the channel, you kept flipping through the channels when you stopped, you usually never got channels from Japan on your tv but since Monsta x was promoting there they were showing their interview.
You smiled at the sight of wonho, he had his natural messy hair brown hair style going on and he was listening as jooheon and shownu were talking about their new song.
"Ok question from some fans, we know you guys don't have girlfriends but if you could describe a perfect girl for yourself what would they be like?" The interviewer asked.
The guys all smiled shyly and looked over at wonho who seemed to be the one who was always use to answering questions like this.

"Umm, well, if I had to describe maybe, someone who works hard, who no matter what she's wearing be it with or without make up looks beautiful in my eyes. Maybe someone who enjoys ramen in the mornings and even though they are clumsy or anything, they know that they can rely on me cuz I'd be there to take care of them." Wonho smiled to himself and looked down at his hands and continued, "someone who enjoys the rain and has the craziest stories tells them confidently and even though the people would be staring at her as she told these stories nothing else mattered cuz all I would see is the world her and I are in together."
You felt yourself smiling stupidly to yourself, wonho basically described you on television you couldn't believe it.
Wonho had stopped talking and the interviewer and her cohost giggled together, "well sounds like you could be thinking of someone specifically?"
"What? Oh no no it's just been something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Every man deserves a wonderful woman beside them so of course I've thought about what kinda woman would suit me." Wonho quickly explained.
"Ohhh well, this ends our interview..."
You turned off the television and tossed the remote on your coffee table. You knew wonho had to say that at the end cuz he was an idol, but, a part of you hated that he couldn't confidently say he liked someone. Then again you should've known this kind of situation would arise, it did with Youngjae and it most defiantly would with Wonho.
You got off your couch and made
Your way to your room, you didn't even bother to turn on your light and plopped down on your bed. Another sigh left your lips, how many was that today 100 times now? You pulled your phone out again and finally decided to call wonho, it wasn't like he would answer anyways.
You dialed out his number and put the phone to your ear as you buried face in your pillow and listened to the phone ring once, twice,

"(Y/n)" you heard wonhos voice through the phone.
You say up quickly, you weren't expecting him to answer so you found yourself flustered.
"Wonho, hey, umm I wasn't sure if you would answer." You said nervously as you tried to think of something to say.
"I miss you," wonho said quickly.
You smiled into your phone, you were so happy to hear those words.
"I miss you too Wonho," you replied quietly with a grin across your face.
"I'll be back tomorrow, we should get some ramen." Wonho said as you heard a sense of relief in his voice.
"Ya that would be nice," you said being glad that the week he was gone was coming to an end, "I have to go now, I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Is it weird," Wonho interrupted.
"What?" You asked.
"Is it weird that, I wasn't sure about my feelings towards you till I heard your voice again and I realized, I really am falling for you." Wonho explained nervously.
"No, cuz I felt the same way" you replied feeling your face get hot with embarrassment.
"I'll come over when I get back, it will be late but, wait for me ok?" Wonho said as you could hear confidence in his voice.
"Ok, I will, goodnight," you said quietly secretly not wanting to hang up.
"Goodnight," wonho said and you pulled the phone away from your ear and ended the call.
You threw yourself on your pillow and squealed to yourself, you were acting like you were back in elementary school and this was your first crush. You held your phone tightly to chest and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

-The next day-

You were eagerly working and trying to clean the store as quickly as you could so you could get home shower and get ready before you would be seeing wonho. You weren't even sure at what time he would be back and it was barely 7pm, but you felt yourself getting anxious.
"Hey (y/n), do you have plans tonight or something? Your working crazy fast!" One of your coworkers asked from the counter.
"Ya sorry I'm just trying to get back as soon as possible." You explained as you quickly cleaned off tables.
"Well if you want you can head out there's not much left to do and I can do the rest.
"Really! Oh my gosh you're amazing I owe you!" You exclaimed as you quickly took off your apron and tossed it behind the counter and grabbed your bag and coat before running out the door.
You quickly ran down the street to your apartment, you were stopped at the cross walk right before your apartment. You pushed the button repeatedly when suddenly you felt a hand lace their fingers between yours and pull you to run across the street. You didn't even have to look up to know who it was, you yelp out with excitement as you followed behind the person pulling you towards your apartment.

Once you had gotten close to your apartment you both stopped running keeping your hands laced together. You looked up at the person in front of you he had his hood on but you could see part of his face, it was Wonho!
You both came to a stop in front of you apartment and wonho whispered, "I have a surprise,"
"Hmm?" You asked tilting your head.
Wonho turned towards you and pulled off his hood.
Your jaw dropped, you could've never imagined the site you were looking at.
"Wonho," you breathed "you're, blonde?!"