Look him up and down and say "I can see why Belarus left you for Russia..."
Accuse him of being gay.
Ask him if he really did show Poland his dick.
Confuse him for a girl.
Call him a 'sissy'.
Tell him that his clothes are so last year, then invite Poland in as his 'fashion advisor'.
Replace his normal clothes with women's clothing.
Pressure him into taking his clothes off in public.
Prank call him while he's in the shower.
Slap him hard on the back.
Pull on his hair.
Prevent him from getting any sleep. At all.
Tell a lame joke and then laugh as if it's actually funny.
Walk around his house clumsily, knocking everything over and leaving him behind to clean it all up.
Accuse him of drinking too much alcohol, even if he clearly does not.
Enroll him in Polish language classes.
Inform him that the current situation calls for him to marry Poland again.
Barge into his house and announce that Estonia has joined the Nordics.
Tell him that wolves are pathetic creatures.
Bring up his 'glory days' and his time with Russia.
Remind him of the time he had to dance ballet for Russia.
Run into his house screaming that 'the Russians have come...'
Destroy his precious fields.
Claim that the Battle of Grunwald was purely a Polish victory.
Point at him in horror and scream: "Get away from me, you bloody pagan!"
Treat him as if he is still Russian territory.
Every time he tries to get close to Belarus, squeeze yourself in between.
Challenge him to a game of chess. If he is about to win, either quit or begin flipping the chess pieces around in an immature fashion.
Ask him if he plans on winning Eurovision any time soon.
If he answers 'yes', say to him: "but I thought you won in 2006...oh wait..."
Make fun of his Eurovision record in general.
Claim that Estonia and Latvia are way cooler than him.
If he asks, tell him that he just naturally sucks.
Force him to listen to rap music from his country, then film his reaction.
Squirt ketchup or mayonnaise all over him.
Sneak into his garage and take his car apart.
Run over his car with a tank, as punishment for parking in the 'wrong place'.
Ask him how well his perfume is selling.
Claim that basketball is a lame sport.
Make fun of the idea of baby racing.
