Call him 'Ireland' by mistake.
Refer to him as 'pretty boy'.
Tell him that he needs to bulk up if he wants to be taken seriously.
Ask him why he looks nothing like Björk.
Insist that white cannot possibly be his natural hair colour.
Remind him again how much his name doesn't really fit him.
Mispronounce any of the names of his volcanoes.
Claim that his language is mostly gibberish.
Ask him if he actually believes in elves.
Call him a loner.
Bring up the fact that he has no official army, then ask how he plans on defending himself.
Claim that Norway and Denmark are planning on conquering him again.
Ask if he ever participated in an actual Viking raid.
Laugh at the number of times he has been invaded unexpectedly.
Make fun of him for being so behind in European trends.
Tell him that he needs to stop dressing like it's the nineteenth century.
Ask him if he has a fetish for woollen clothing.
Demand that he strip for 'scientific purposes'.
Point out his apparent lack of muscles.
Ask him if he has ever thought of eating Mr Puffin.
Claim that his cooking is even worse than England's.
Claim that liquorice tastes terrible.
Tell him that he stinks of ash and smoke.
Accuse him of overfishing.
Ask him if he was high when he came up with LazyTown.
Sing any song from that show at the top of your voice.
Talk to him as if he's a toddler.
Bring up the time he had a weird dream about Turkey.
Offer to show him some porn.
Sing 'Ice Ice Baby' whenever he enters a room.
Force him to listen to metal from the other Nordic countries.
Refer to him as an 'ice queen'.
Ask him if he has ever fallen in love with a fridge.
Ask him if he is compensating for something with his penis museum.
Talk about nothing but Björk and her music whenever you're with him.
