Call him a 'bumpkin'.
Say that he's 'boring'.
Tell him that he looks girly.
Tell him that he stinks of petroleum and hold your nose.
Ask him why he always smells like fish.
Ask him why he hangs out with Denmark so much.
Or if he's secretly in love.
Stare at him for more than thirty seconds.
Constantly talk to him for hours on end.
Accuse him of hoarding gold and fish.
Insist that his magical friends aren't real.
Slap him in the face with a fish.
Ask him why he wears a hair-clip when he's a guy.
Dunk his hair-clip underwater to see what happens.
Ask him what it's like being the capital of Sweden.
Claim that Norwegian is a dialect of Danish.
Tell him his language sounds stupid/hilarious.
Challenge him to define his own culture.
Question the logic behind the 'hat kicking dance'.
Claim that Finland is the true king of metal.
Talk crap about Edvard Grieg, or the band a-Ha.
Tell him that he makes really lame movies.
Claim that Sweden and Denmark are manlier than him.
Tell him he's like Denmark and/or Sweden, but less cool.
Accuse him of being a terrible brother to Iceland.
Complain about how everything is so expensive in his country.
Ask him if he does his shopping in Sweden.
Force him to cut back on butter.
Claim that Christopher Columbus was the first European to find America.
Speak at length about deforestation or endangered animal species in his presence.
Remind him that he once knighted a penguin.
Borrow his money without asking and never return it.
Keep pestering him to join the European Union.
Recite the rules of the Law of Jante to him in your most condescending voice.
Point him out on a map and talk about how much he looks like a piece of sperm.
