Optical [h.s fanfiction]

Chapter 14: Smell

"Two roads diverge in a yellow wood" -Robert Frost

There were two paths in front of me one of them included an awkward yet polite boy who worked at a local coffee shop. The other had a person who was misunderstood and frankly need to brush his hair once and awhile. He laid right next to me slightly snoring as he kept a tight hold on my waist.

Outside this sanctuary were emotions, conflicts, and the cold. So, I snuggle closer to his body and stopped as soon as I felt the excited part of Harry pressed to my back. I began to try to release his tight grip, but failed. Instead I turned my body to face him, front to front. I just looked at him and studied his furrowed eyebrows. His expression was concerned as he continued to dream. What was he thinking about? I wasn't sure, but of course I was curious.

Without thinking I brought my hand up to trace the curve of his lips. My sudden action caused him to stir in his perfect slumber. I immediately regretted interrupting his sleep and turned around quickly. Pretending to sleep was much easier when I was a kid. I tried to steady my breath and hope he bought it. The small bed creaked as Harry rose from his previous position. A sudden cool finger traced the outline of my hip and waist now that I was laying on my side. My body reacted to his action and continued to "sleep". He repeated this movement and changed his route to go down my thigh. He gently pulled my shirt down to its previous spot and then escaped our sanctuary the bed moving with him.

'Tell him to stop' my mind screamed, begged.

I listened for once and my eyes shot open.

"Harry," My morning voice croaked. He froze as if I caught him committing a crime.

He turned around slowly and met my stare.

"Hey," He's ashamed expression was splattered on his face.

He walked over to Jordan's bed and awkwardly sat down. Resting his elbows on his knees he looked down at his feet.

"Did we..?" He paused and made a motion with his hands that I didn't follow.

"No. We did not have sex," I stated bluntly wondering what he would have done if we actually did. Would he have still walked out?

He looked relieved. My heart suddenly fluttered, but it's not the way when you have your first kiss or when you see puppies. No, it was disappointment. Why? Almost offended I ignored the lump in my throat.

"So, you walk out on girls who you sleep and don't sleep with. Nice to know," My bitter tone was apparent as much as I didn't want it to be. I didn't want him to hear the hurt in my voice. It was as if he was making it as if would have been a mistake if we did. Which to think about it, it probably would have. But, the look on his face made me feel as if sleeping with me would have been the worst mistake he had ever made.

"Why would I stay with someone when I'm not wanted," He looked up at me.

Confusion struck me and I continued to stare at his perfectly sculpted face. I couldn't see as well as I would with my glasses on, but he was a blurry perfection.

"We would have already got what we wanted if I slept with someone. A good fuck. So, why would I stay when there's nothing else," he paused putting his thoughts together, "I don't stay places where I'm not wanted,"

My heart didn't flutter this time. It broke. His explanation was something that I had to think about, but it made sense and I could relate to a perfect extent.

"Who said I didn't want you," I almost whispered.

"I showed up here drunk Bea. Sayin' who the fuck knows what. I know when I'm not wanted," Harry rose from the bed obviously done with the conversation.

He walked to the door with me following behind until I grabbed his arms filling the space. My grasp was firm and needy. This was no longer want.

"Please," Was all I said.