January 17, 2016
"I love you, y/n," Lauren spoke, her eyes unable to meet yours from across the room.
There was a small distance in between you, but it felt like miles. Her voice was quiet, you could barely hear it and the sobs that left her mouth made it that much more difficult to decipher.
Upon her words, you felt your heart stop. Everything suddenly stopped moving around you and the only thing that mattered was the brunette across from you. She was still sobbing and you wanted to step across the room and pull her into a tight hug, but you didn't think your body would let you.
"...W-What," you asked, your lips trembled as it all started to crumble down to your feet. Everything you have wanted to hear her say since the moment you fell in love with her was coming out and you were not ready. You knew deep down that she wasn't either.
"I said I love you," she almost whispered, never once looking up into your eyes.
You wanted to say it back, but you knew you couldn't risk it. You both were off doing your separate things and you never saw each other. Rushing into something like this is anything but what you wanted. Timing was everything to you and this moment just wasn't the perfect one.
"Lauren... I-I," you scrambled to find your words, "we-we can't do this."
At this, she snatched her head up to yours and found your eyes. Her piercing green eyes lost their spark and immediately turned into an almost forest green. You watched as tears welled up and began to streak down her face and you decided that this was one of the most heartbreaking sights you've ever seen.
"W-what do y-you mean," she asked, her voice laced with confusion and desperation.
"I mean," you sighed, breaking your firm composure as you stepped forward towards the heartbroken girl across the room, "we are both in such different places with our lives, Lauren. Jumping into a relationship would be reckless."
Her eyes squinted together as she tried to hold back the tears and piece together what you were saying. You weren't denying that you want a relationship with her, but you were making it clear that you couldn't be in a relationship with her.
"B-but I love you," she stuttered desperately, her shoulders slouching in defeat.
You sighed, a tear slipping down your cheek for the first time this evening as you grabbed her hand and intertwined your fingers, squeezing them lightly. You hoped you could convey the love you had for her with your eyes because saying it made it too real and making it too real would give her hope. Hope wasn't something you needed to give her because you couldn't promise her that everything would work out. You just couldn't.
One thing you were sure of was that you loved her with all your being and if things were right, you would commit to her forever. Sadly, the world isn't perfect and neither was you and Lauren's timing, but as you stood across from her, your hand in hers, you found your resolve cracking. Her eyes were full of tears and her lips were quivering as she held back the sobs and it was like the damn broke inside of you and you felt the need to say what you wanted to say all along.
"I love you too. I really, really do," you breathe out into the silence, finally relieved you got that off of your chest, but also nervous because you hoped she understood that it didn't change a thing.
At your comment, her eyes opened wide, unable to grasp exactly what you were saying. in such a short amount of time. She was so sure you weren't going to say it back and she spent most of her time standing across from you telling herself that. She was just so sure she would never be able to hear those words leave your lips. Honestly, you weren't expecting it either, but you just looked at her and your heart swelled and you were like silly putty in her hands.
