// Trigger warning for attempted suicide and depression. I'm writing this because I'm emo at the moment, so excuse me. //
• • •
School has officially become one of the things you hate most in life. It is a stupid waste of time and space where you are expected to pay attention to a teacher ramble on about something you are not even gonna remember in a few weeks. It is just pointless and half of the stuff you learn that you are not gonna use anyway. These are the types of thoughts that run through your mind as you walk down the hall to collect your things from your locker, so you can leave hell... you mean school.
Arriving at your locker, you stop and stare at the one next to yours that used to be accompanied by your best friend, or... ex-best friend, rather. Even thinking that hurts like hell because it would be different if you knew why the sudden distance popped up between you two. It seems like time just got in the way and it became increasingly harder to make time for her, even though you wish you had actually done so because you can't go a day without thinking about how things used to be. Even though it's only been about four months since things turned to radio silence, it still eats you alive that you didn't try harder because she would have no doubt have made time for you. You just didn't give her the time of day to do so.
And, oh god, do you wish you had one more opportunity to hear her infectious laugh and to see her bright green eyes staring into yours. You long to hear her singing along to your favorite songs while riding beside you in the car with her fingers intertwined with yours. Not to mention her spontaneous road trips she would pull you along with where you two would spend the weekend traveling to small cafes, random historical sites and many random places that caught your interests. The best part of it all was having her beside you, creating story after story.
You might have even been falling in love with her, but you realized it too late because she was already slipping from your grasp. Lately, you have been trying to forget the thought of her completely, but that is not so easy when she walks past you and avoids eye contact with you at all costs. Especially when she used to look at you and smile. The pain in the pit of your stomach stings worse then a thousand bee stings, but you quickly remind yourself that this is your fault. You deserve every twist of pain that comes your way.
Shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts, you begin to open your locker and gather your things like you came to do in the first place, but the first thing that gets your attention is the folded up piece of paper that is taped to the side of your locker door. It doesn't occur to you that the only other person that knows your combination is Lauren.
You immediately grab the paper and begin to open it curiously, but an announcement pulls your attention away.
"Last call for the buses," some lady speaks over the intercom and that nearly springs you into action. If you do not hurry, you will miss your bus and be left here until you ask someone to come and rescue you. Quickly, you shove the piece of paper down into your pocket and start rummaging through the papers in your locker.
"Shit," you mumble and pull all of your contents out of the locker and shove them into your book bag. They violently crumble and rip, but you will worry about that later.
Right now, you need to make it to the bus.
• • •
Making it on the bus in record time, you fling yourself down in the seat next to your best friend, Camila, and immediately let out a sigh of relief. You swear you hear her mutter something about you, but you can't hear her for the sound of your heavy breathing.
