Little Parts of Me

X. Unanswered, Unheard

Unanswered, Unheard

Hey,

...I know you won't get this but uhh.. this talk has been long overdue. You won't respond but I guess I never really needed an answer from you - I just wish you were listening right now.

If you are listening, from wherever you've gone to after everything that's happen, I hope you're taking this seriously.

I know that I've always had a knack for lying. Especially to save my sorry ass from whatever trouble I got myself into.

....

Sorry, I'm just not use to not getting any replies. A nod from you would be enough to push me on but uhh.. you're not here to do that for me.

I kind of get it know. What you told me before you left. That I would finally understand what it's like to be human. Well, the idiot that I am never got anything you said. But uhh.. I guess being human is more than just thinking about the next meal I'll be having.

Making that final decision and doing that to you, sacrificing for something else... Humans are so interesting. Glorifying heroes who give everything they have but then to go home and be consumed by greed and doing things for their self interest. Heroes who are depicted as people who are selfless and filled with so much love for others. But in reality people are attracted to those who don't seem to care about anything, people who disregard other's opinions.

I could never act that way. I could never pretend to not care about what I did to you. That my sins are something I am used to committing.

You were a hero who I victimised to my own greed. I realise that too late and I'm confessing even later. I guess I couldn't really deal with seeing your pitiful face anymore. Someone who I thought was above everything, above sins and above all else. I thought you were my saviour.

Seeing you so weak and defeated. Seeing you beg for me to have mercy on the people you had strained yourself to defend. In the end, I found joy in killing off every one of them. I mean, how could they? You were so caught in them with their strange behaviours and advancements. You felt too obligated to protect the weaker species.

I blamed them for making you weak. For wasting your life on their cause. I blamed them because it was them you chose over me. I, who had served you for so long. I, who would never had betrayed you. I would have done anything.

But you turned against me for a species who were already drowning in their laws and materialistic crap that they worshipped.

You, my master, who was selfless 'till the end.

I... I came here to tell you that I don't regret what I did. I saw your actions as selfish and even if my own decision was selfish in its own way, I did it because I didn't want to see you do that. I didn't want to see you sacrifice yourself for people who only used you because you were strong.

I could never see my master degraded to a dog, I couldn't bare to see my master serve someone when you should be the one being served. You deserved a throne but you wanted so much less. I didn't want to see it - even if I had to kill you.

I don't regret it.

But even now, I still see your smiling face - telling me that you understand. That you respect my decision, because that is what I wanted. You trusted me 'till the very end. So, when you let me press the gun to your head as you begged for their lives to be spared, you accepted death. You accepted death, happy that it was me and not some enemy who wanted to kill for fun. You accepted death under the pretence that those pathetic creatures lived.

Like I said, I killed them and I would never regret taking their lives. Not for anything.