cigarette daydreams

/9

At school on Monday, Lydi was sitting at the back of the class. This time, her pens were dumped in a mess, her book was half-off her desk, and her dark hair hung in her face. Karden worried that she had died, and that no one had noticed.

That would be a sad way to go, but also, a very Lydi way.

Still, Karden didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he'd be welcome. He decided it didn't really matter.

He glanced at the seat he knew Amber would be taking, and sighed.

He walked to the back of the class.

With extreme care, he slid into the sit beside Lydi. She didn't acknowledge him.

He glanced around quickly to make sure that no one was paying him any mind, then leaned closer to her and murmured, "Are you alright?"

"I'm just as sane as you are."

"Um . . . wait, what?"

She turned to look at him, doing the head-cock that she normally did. Her eyes were red. "I'm just as sane as you are, so don't treat me like I'm crazy."

Karden sucked in a deep breath, then said, "What if I'm crazy?"

Instead of laughing like Connor might have, Lydi's lips quirked. She didn't answer the question, but then again, Karden hadn't really expected her too. She rubbed a thin hand over her face. "Before you ask, I'm not high. My insomnia's catching up with me is all."

"You can't sleep?"

"I find it's better not to. There's so much going on at night." She shrugged. "Can't see it during the day, and what do I really need school for?"

"Learning, I suppose."

"You're funny."

"Only when I try to be."

Lydi breathed out something that might have been a laugh, then ducked her head again and rested her elbows on her desk. Karden stared at her for a moment, then reached over and shifted a few of her pens so that they were at least all facing the front of the class. He sat back in his chair and nodded to himself.

She didn't respond.

He supposed he deserved it after yelling at her like he had.

She had been right, after all.

He was cracked. Like a leaking glass bottle - the cracks were miniscule, invisible to most people, but undeniably there.

And he worried he was leaking out.

He worried that soon, there'd be nothing left.

And most of all, he worried that he wouldn't even notice the change.