cigarette daydreams

/24

Sunday evening. Karden was bleeding on his notebook again.

The phone rang.

Karden? Karden, the phone's for you. It's the hospital.

He raced to the foot of the stairs and grabbed the phone from his mother. "What happened?"

"Lydi said to call you first. Her condition worsened. They're trying an emergency procedure to help with the tumor." The person at the end of the line was a faceless demon. The nightmare to Karden's living hell. "Do you want to come in?"

"I'll be there."

Karden, what was wrong? Why was the hospital calling?

He looked at his mother for the first time in a long, long time. "Because the girl I love is dying."

And she couldn't get a word out for the life of her.

Karden tucked his notebook into his pocket and grabbed his jacket. The twilight was cold, but he didn't feel it. Jasper Bridge was empty. The town was quiet. The hospital doors swung open in front of him.

"Lydi Stern. I'm here for Lydi Stern."

It was the same woman as before. She recognized him. "Operating Room Seven."

He ran off.

They were just going in. Lydi was lying on the cot. She looked sad. Very sad. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes.

When she saw him, she tapped the orderly pushing her. "Stop. Stop, I need to talk to Karden."

"Miss Stern, you need to get into surgery - "

"I need to talk to him."

He stepped off. Karden filled his place. He didn't know where to put his hands. They cupped her cheeks, wiped away her tears, cleared away her hair. His eyes stung. "I'm here, Lydi."

She started crying in earnest. Her nose turned red. "Karden. Karden. I'm sorry. It's all my fault, all of it - "

"What are you talking about? Of course it's not your fault. Don't say that."

"No, no, it is. All this time I didn't care, I pushed it away, I didn't - I didn't think about it. But now it might be the end and I don't want it to be the end, Karden. There's so much time, so much space, and I'll never see it, and I want to see it all. I want to stay. I want to stay with you. And my head hurts and I can't feel my toes and I love you, Karden. I love you so much and I never noticed and now I think I'm going to fall apart."

Karden pulled her up into his arms and hugged her. He would never let her go. He couldn't let her go. He would hold on until he was dead in the ground. He would hold on until the Sun burned out. She sobbed into his shoulder.

"It's okay, Lydi. It's all going to be okay. You're going to wake up tomorrow, and it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." He fixed his eyes on a point on the wall. His hand stroked her tangled hair. "You're going to be okay. I'll be here. And you'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

"I love you." Her lips were against his neck.

"I know."

"You love me."

"Yes. With all my heart."

"What if I die? What if I die, Karden? I don't want to die, Karden." She pulled back and looked him in the eye. They were both crying, but maybe that canceled it out. Two divided by two equals one.

"You won't die."

"I will. Everyone does." She held onto him like a drowning sailor holds onto a buoy. "Everyone will die, and I'm going to too."

"Not today. Not tomorrow."

"You'll be here when I come out?"

"I'll be here every day until the day I die."

"Even if I die?"

"You won't die."

She sucked in a heavy, shaking breath. "Promise?"

"I promise." And through the tears, Karden kissed her. A final, lingering kiss. Maybe the kiss could save the princess.

The orderly came back. He eased Lydi out of Karden's arms and pushed her onwards, into the operating room. Karden never looked away. The doors swung shut. Lydi went in.

She never came out.