cigarette daydreams

/17

The week was long. The week was hard. The week was lonely.

Karden looked up Xenophiliac Symphony by Tuesday. By Wednesday, he had downloaded some of their songs onto his iPod. By Thursday, he was singing along. By Friday, he needed more.

Really, it had all been a way to forget Lydi. Try and distract himself from the person who had suddenly become so meaningful in his life as to put all others to shame. But it didn't really work like that.

"Karden, bro, what's up?" Connor appeared at Karden's shoulder at the end of the day. His smile was a little forced. Under his breath, he asked, "Seriously, what's wrong? You barely talked to me at all this week."

"I've been distracted."

"By who? Lydi isn't even here." Connor gave him an "I'm waiting" look, which Karden refused to address.

Suddenly, he'd had enough. "Why couldn't you have let this whole thing alone? I didn't need to talk to Lydi. I didn't need to get to know her. In fact, I still know practically nothing about her, and she doesn't seem to care, which is even worse, because it's like she doesn't even expect me to care. And I care, Connor, all because you made me care!"

The hallway seemed quieter. Karden looked around. It was quieter. Eyes followed him. He saw Amber give him a disappointed look, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Everyone else seemed surprised. Some seemed scandalized. Connor was blank for a moment.

Then he smiled.

"You care."

"Yes, I care. I just said that. Did I stutter?"

He stepped a little closer so he wouldn't be heard. "Dude, you care about something. Just last week you were saying that nothing meant anything, and now you're saying you care about her?"

Karden swallowed. "W-what are you getting at?"

He knew what he was getting at.

Connor said it anyways. "When you care about someone, they mean something to you."

So maybe life wasn't as meaningless as Karden thought, as long as Lydi was in it. She made life meaningful.

He shook his head. No. He had a point to prove. "I care about you too, Connor. I cared about you a long time before I cared about Lydi."

Now Connor's smile turned a little sad. "I know you did. But who are you trying to kid, Karden? I was never enough. Best friends never will be. There are people who are . . . more. And for you, that person is Lydi."

The words sounded too deep to be coming out of Connor, C+ in Algebra II Connor, but they were. And they struck a chord with Karden, because underneath all of his bluff and his bluster, he knew it was true. Lydi was the most important thing in his life now - or at least, she was becoming it.

It seemed impossible. It was impossible.

But what was that quote?

Oh, right.

Nothing is impossible.

Not even love.