Save Me

Mitsy

May 1 2014, "Ive been dreading the arrival of this day for the pass couple of weeks." I whisper to myself as i wake up
"Maybe if i do everything im told to do today's outcome will be different, maybe if I don't have an attitude I wont have to say goodbye. Optimism is not my strong suit but hope is all I got left."
I get out of bed & walk towards the bathroom to brush my teeth & get ready for school I see my mom in the kitchen making coffee while she gets ready for work, " Dormiste bien?"
She asked me if I slept well as I stepped into the kitchen.

"Si mas o menos y mi papa?"

   " Esta en el cuarto vistiéndose."

    "Todavía se va?"

    "Si."

I hear sadness in my mother's voice as I ask her for my dad & if he's still leaving, I know she's hurting.
Im hurting too.
Why does he want to go? Why cant he just stay? Is he finally fed up with dealing with me & my brother's
bullshit? Does he no longer love my mom? So many questions & so little time to try & get some answers.
As i start doing my hair & make up for school I catch a glimpse of my dad standing by my bed room door
"Ma como amaneciste?"

"Mas o menos, y tu pa."

"Bien casi no pude dormir."

My dad couldn't sleep last night either, i could see it in his face he's sad. Why doesn't he stay if he's so sad to go?

"Vienen por mi en media hora ma."

"Okay."

He starts walking towards his room & i try to fight the tears back but it's no use. I wonder what my brother is doing right now, what he's thinking I'd kill to have him here with us in this moment.
My brother has been in JDC (Juvenile Detention Center) for the pass 2 years, he should be getting released sometime next month. I miss him like you wouldn't imagine which is strange because when we're together all we do is fight & argue like cats & dogs. I just wonder why my dad can't just wait until he's home.

"Mitsy ven." I hear my mom call me from her room
"Que paso?" 

  "Tu papa ya se va."

I see my dad grab his suit cases & walk towards me.

"Ya me voy ma, ven dame un abrazo."

I walk towards my dad fighting my tears back fighting back the urge to break down & beg him not to leave.

"Papi te voy a extrañar.  Please daddy don't leave me."

I tried to stay strong but i couldn't do it.

"Ma me tengo que ir lo sabes tengo 20 años de no
ver ami mama."

He's right he hasn't seen his mom in years im being selfish but I just don't want him to go.

"Flaca ya me voy, ven denme un abrazo las dos."

We both walk to him & give him a hug. Once we let go he walks out the door & waves goodbye.
He's really gone.