You're...still the one.

1

Alice

I sat in my office cabin reading the morning newspaper as always. It has become a part of my routine for the past three years since I joined this firm. It was quite early and I was before time so the office seemed peaceful although every now and then I could hear the noise of coffee machine just outside my cabin. Maybe I'm not the only one who likes to make it early.

I looked out into the bright morning sky as I took a sip of my Mocha. Every morning as I sat here looking down at the city the whole seven years of my life flashed Infront of me. It reminded me of my struggles that brought me up, well not to the 16th floor of this building but as an assistant chief executive of one of the reputed firms in the city. My boss, Mr. Alan Cook was a humble and kind person who never gave me a hard time. So all in all I was quite happy with my job.

Maybe coming back to New York was indeed a good decision. The memories of this city that haunted me earlier later only made me strong. Not only the memories but all that happened to me in these years played an important role in making the strong independent woman I am today.
When I left for Boston seven years back, I couldn't think that my life would go back to be normal again but thanks to mom and Max I came out of it sooner than I thought.

Losing mom in a road accident five years back took me back to square one only this time the pain was much worse. I had given up on everything. I would sit alone in my dorm room all day or Infront of her grave weeping, complaining that how she left me so soon especially at the time when I needed her the most. All my hard work, the scholarship I earned would have gone to vain if again Max and Mrs. Phelps our principal didn't help me through it. I remember the days I had to visit a psychologist for my therapy. It actually worked and made me move on from my losses. Although now I was perfectly fine but all that had made a hole deep inside of me somewhere which I had tried to fill over these years but somehow it remained empty. Graduation party was the last time I had seen Mel and Case or infact anyone of my batch mates. I although got to know from Max that Mrs. Cooper had transferred the scholarship to Mel but even he did not know where she was. I also kept getting information about the various students excelling in their life and jobs and I was quite happy about it.
About Jake Brian? Well he was the only person about whom I had the most information. Not because I had any interest in knowing it but he was always in the papers for his early success. Well guess what? He only got richer and more famous. He is featured in almost every magazines and newspapers for his increasing popularity. Obviously he is never featured alone. His girlfriend accompanied him everywhere whether its a party, board meetings, clubs etc.

Initially when I used to see Jake with Bianca in the papers it did affect me and it was totally justified but as time passed the hurt changed to disgust and now at this time it didn't affect me one bit. It makes me feel proud of myself for making the person I am today. Nonetheless I had no time thinking about other people's life. I had a life of my own, a relationship to carry forward.

I looked at my engagement ring and remembered the day I said 'yes' to him. Yes I got engaged. Engaged to Max. The person who was there for me through my ups and downs....well mostly downs. Who saw me at my worst and still never failed to show his love for me. I owe all of this to him. It's like he gave me a new life. We got quite close during our university days. Nothing was official but it was pretty clear that that we wanted to be with each other. It was pretty clear that I needed him. So when last year Max proposed I accepted it. Honestly I don't love him. Not because he isn't capable of my love but because there isn't any love inside of me left to give to anyone. Even Max knew my last experience of love was enough to cause me pain for a lifetime and hence he neither demanded or expected love from me but that didn't mean I won't give him what I was capable to. I had to start a new life someday. I cannot loathe my entire life. It would be unjust to me. I didn't deserve it.
Deep down I knew even mom wanted it. She always wanted me to start afresh and so I'm keeping her dream alive even if she isn't.