A Broken Hearted Girl {Wattys2014}

Chapter 4- Wrong Timing part 1

I dedicate this chapter to EmmaMayfield and the poem she wrote about bully awareness please go to this link below to read after this chapter:  http://www.wattpad.com/8075497-what-if

Enjoy

This is just 1 part of this chapter so don't worry there's more:-) 

******************

Tears started to form at the brim of my eye lids while driving home from school. My encounter with Ethan made me see things even clearer than before. Tasha's words along with the look Ethan gave me before I stormed out of the gym just made my heart hurt worse. For some reason knowing that the only person that didn't know my past or me for that matter doesn't want me anywhere near him, pained me to the core.

He didn't even give me a chance, no one ever does. That's why my plan is so solid. No one will miss me except for my parents. If no one wants me around, then I won't be around. I'll grant everyone's wishes. Tears started to come in deep sobs and I hardly could see the road. I stepped harder on the gas in an attempt to get home faster, I needed to get rid of this pain now!.

Finally reaching my destination, I drove into the driveway and shot out of the car. I didn't even bother to shut the car off, I was to blinded by my mission at the moment. I needed to do this before my mom came home from work. Running up the front steps taking two at a time, I unlocked the front door and stumbled upstairs. My crying had gotten considerably worse since I pulled up to the house and I could feel my chest heaving because of it.

Not stopping to consider my actions I ran into my mothers bedroom and started to search. I had to find it or my plan wouldn't work. Going through her night stand drawer I finally spotted what I was looking for. Through my blurred vision I read the bottle and was satisfied that I found my salvation. My mothers sleeping pills.

I scrambled back to my room and hurriedly got a piece of paper and a pen. With a shaky hand I started to write my goodbye to my mother and father. I told them how much I loved them and that I never wanted to hurt them. I kept it short, my tears splashing on the page.

I placed the letter on top of my bear that I always sleep with, it was a gift from my dad when I was three. Resting my hand on the worn fabric of the stuffed animal I started to cry even harder if that were possible. I didn't want to leave my parents, I love them too much, but this had to be done. I couldn't go through this torture any longer.

Sliding down to my knees on the floor I stared at the bottle that concealed the peace that I so desperately wanted. Trying to open the bottle I started to smile to myself through my pouring tears. This is it, this is the moment that will make it all go away. That little thought made me feel so happy inside for some odd reason. I was happy that all of my pain was about to finally subside. I should have done this a long time ago.

Trying to wipe my eyes to see better I started to finish opening the bottle. My hands were shaking even worse than before and I had to stop to take a breath. my hands were coated with sweat and tears and I was starting to panic, It wasn't opening. I needed to get this bottle open, I only had so much time left.

Getting frustrated, my cries got desperate. I couldn't wait any longer this had to happen now or I would never be able to do it. Taking the bottle, I slammed it on the corner of my nightstand and out poured the pills cascading all around me.

Sighing in relief I picked up two and gazed at them, my sobs dwindling while only silent tears streamed down my face. Taking a long breath I opened my mouth and popped the first two in and forced them down. Just knowing that I was that much closer to my relief from all the hurt and pain had me picking up a handful of pills this time. 'it will all be over soon, just a few more and it will all be over' I said to myself and started to put two more in my mouth....

All of a sudden the pills were slapped out of my shaking hands and fell onto the carpeted floor. I screamed in agony and snapped my cloudy vision up to the source that had just ruined my plan.

I stared with hate at the person who screwed up everything, my sobs coming back with more force then before. "What did you do! Your ruining everything!" I screamed through my cries at the person standing above me. "Why are you here, your not supposed to be here, get out!" I said getting up onto my weak legs and pushing them out the door.

But the person who destroyed my plan of relief and peace didn't budge. All they did was wrap their arms around me, holding me to them like I would disappear at any moment. I slumped my body in defeat and just cries in their arms, my body convulsing with the sobs of my unsubsided pain.

"How many did you take, please tell me you didn't take a lot. Kierra! How many did you take!?" the voice that was starting to sound so far away yelled while shaking me to stay awake.

All I said before inviting the darkness in was "four...." then I happily let the darkness consume me.