Chapter 28; Fallen

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Justin’s p.o.v

A few months have passed now. I released my album and then ended my contract. I was now living alone in the middle of the country. I quite singing. I couldn’t think straight after what happened with me and Juliet. I ruined everything…I even ruined her.

After a few months of trying she gave up. She moved away from California and that last I heard she moved home…she even stopped writing. I fucked it up. She was never supposed to find out. I should have figured that would have happened. I wish that I could go back and erase the past, erase everything…but I can’t. After that night I started drinking again…and I started doing drugs. Juliet was right…I was fucked up.

Of course there were myths about me and even myths about Juliet. Nobody knew the truth. In fact, I didn’t even know the truth. All I did was constantly think about her. I would always and forever be stuck under her spell and she didn’t even have to try. She was perfect without even trying.

I tried to move on, I fucked a few girls but it didn’t help. Nothing helped me. I was a lost helpless soul whom nobody wanted, nobody could save me.

My phone started to ring distracting me from my own thoughts. Picking it up; I saw that it was Fredo.

“Hello” I spoke.

“Justin I don’t really know how to tell you this” Fredo said with some panic in his voice.

“What the fuck is wrong” I spat, I didn't know what he was trying to say, but if it was important he needed to get it over with.

“It’s Juliet. Her dad is freaking out. Her uncle called and told him that she tried to commit suicide last night. She is in the hospital now and apparently she is not in good condition. Her dad is in Australia with his music project. He is freaking out-“

“I will go to the hospital, I will call you later.” I said before hanging up.

I grabbed a bag and threw some clothes in it before rushing out of the door. I was going to drive to the hospital. I was only an hour away from her. I made sure that I was close so I could get there if I needed to.

I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe. I needed to see her, alive and breathing. I couldn’t believe that she would try to kill herself. That doesn’t sound like her…I was panicking. Why would she do something like this?

I got to the hospital faster than I thought I would. I parked my car and walked inside. Pain ached throughout my body, mostly my chest. What happened to her? What happened to me?

“Justin?” A familiar voice asked from behind me. I turned around to see her uncle standing there.

“Hey” I said after clearing my throat. I walked towards him. “How is she?” I asked. My chest tightened.

“She is okay…” He said rubbing the back of his head.

“Josh should be flying in tonight…as long as the storm clears.”  He sighed.

“Can I see her?” I asked.

“Sure” He said walking to her room. He stood outside while I walked in.

I don’t think I prepared myself enough for what I was about to see. Her arms were covered with scars…and I don’t think her arms are the only place held scars. I walked towards the bed. She looked pale and ill. I wanted to vomit. I blamed myself for this…I blamed myself for everything she had gone through. This was my entire fault. I was the blame. I grabbed her hand and held it.

Maybe I had over thought everything that had happened between us. Maybe I should have just been there for her as a friend and a man. I have always loved her but my own past issues got in the way of me having a future with her and that was my entire fault. She didn’t deserve that. She needed me past my own problems, she needed me for me. Not for the issues I have or have had. I ruined that because I was afraid of myself and loving somebody else, after all I could never love myself. I ruined what we had before we had it because I didn’t want to get attached and then lose he,r hurting myself in the process. I ruined us before we ever had a chance. I ran from us.

“Juliet…I am so sorry. I truly am sorry. I don’t think you will ever know how much I love you. How much I need you in my life. I messed up, I ruined us. I don’t think you will ever forgive me for all the pain that I have caused and I don’t blame you for that. I know what happened between us was my fault. I acted out of line. I hurt you…I never wanted to do that." I started. I held her hand tightly in mine.

"Although I did what I did, because I thought I was keeping you safe and giving you what you wanted but, I was really hurting you and running from the fact that I loved you because I didn’t want to get hurt myself. You never deserved that. I should have been there…I should have loved you the way you deserved and needed.”

“Justin” She mumbled while fluttering her eyes open.

 “Juliet” I said before pulling her into my arms. “I am here” I held her tightly.

“Why are you here?” She asked.

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