Love And War (On Hold)

Fℓαѕнιиg ℓιgнтѕ

J a z ' M a r i e

It's a cold, but beautiful day. The sky is blue and the clouds seem to glow. The wind is quiet, but I can still feel the cold brushing against my skin. For once the sun is out. I can't feel the heat, it's nice to know it's there.

I stared up at the clouds and imagined I was somewhere -anywhere - else, but behind a closed building parked in an empty parking lot on the day before Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, the booming sound of Chief Keef's annoying voice and the strong smell of Mary Jane wouldn't let me forget.

I continued to stare at the clouds as I felt John's stare shift from the swaying trees to me. He was blowing smoke and staying sliently, occasionally rapping along with the radio. He blew smoke in my direction and I turned my head away. I'd rather not die from secondhand smoke.

John grabbed my chin and turned my face towards him. He stared at me thoughtfully, taking another pull of the blunt and blowing the smoke straight into my face. I grimaced and coughed, fanning the smoke and trying to pull away, but his grip on my face tightened .

His lips formed the whisper of a smile and he kissed me on the lips. I pulled away and sat back in my seat.

"Why do you go to church?" he said suddenly. I almost asked how he knew I went to church, but I knew better than to ask. His reply was always "I know everything". He's high anyways.

"Why not?" I didn't feel like explaining my faith to an asshole. It's a waste of time.

"I asked you a question," said John.

I sighed. "I go to church because I believe in God."

"That's stupid." he shook his head.

"Why the fuck did you ask?" I mumbled, irritated. He ran his fingers through my hair and alarms sounded in my head before he pulled hard.

"Ow!" I cried, pain shooting through my scalp.

"Shut the fuck up and don't question me," he pushed my head and I barely missed hitting it on door as I did my shoulder.

"There's no God. Christians are a bunch of boujie ass people who think somebody put them on earth cause they're so fucking special," he laughed. "Praying to invisible people." he shook his head and exhaled smoke. "Stupid ass shit."

I subtly rolled my eyes and tried to ignore him. There wasn't anything he could say to me that would make me buy the bullshit he was tryna sell. I know what I know and he can chill the fuck out talking all the ignorant shit.

He put out the blunt and started the engine, pulling the top back onto the car. I don't know why he had it down in the first place. It's 47 degrees outside.

He sped out of the parking lot, turning onto the street fast. I closed my eyes. I do not feel comfortable letting him drive. God, please don't let this motherfucka kill me in this car today.

He continued speeding, blowing past a stop sign and narrowly missing an oncoming car. My heart started racing and I looked over at John.

"Can you slow down?" I said, trying to raise my voice over the bass blasting from the speakers. He ignored me, speeding past another stop sign and swerving to avoid another car.

"John, slow down!" I shouted over the music.

"Chill the fuck out," he said calmly.

"Are you trying to kill us?" I asked. He didn't reply.

A few secongs later, I heard a siren and saw red, white, and blue lights flashing behind us.

"Fuck," I groaned. John looked in the mirror and pulled over. The police car pulled over behind is and got out of the car. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. He stopped in front of John's window and motioned for him to lower the window, which he did.