Reckless Love

Chapter 4

'5.11.15
Dear Diary
Quiz day at school, at least I studied a little for the quiz but I was promised extra credit for doing good with it. Yas and Bon are the brainy ones I'm practically useless. I feel myself still a little angry, am I angry at Damon or myself!? I just knew I could of saw her again!. I'm not even fully healed from the crazy night the only thing creeping me sane today is the smell of coffee. Today could get better, nobody cares anymore that she's gone.'

I practically crawl out of bed nearly falling on the floor. I quickly make my bed tidy and presentable and head for the bathroom morning routine before my coffee.

I am definitely looking good today I must admit even if I hardly feel it, it definitely encourages people to believe I'm okay, I might even walk to school today to feel the bitter autumn soon to be winter bite me.
"Good morning Elena" my dad is awfully chirp today as he sips from his large coffee mug, large mugs are the best in a morning really they basically feel bottomless like you could never run out and when you do... it doesn't matter because you feel wide awake and practically bouncing off the walls.
I smile and greet my father good morning as I pour my identical coffee, us Gilbert's sure are very alike other than the looks.
"Aunt Jenna and uncle john will be in town soon" he updates me and I groan internally
Aunt Jenna is grumpy I don't know how uncle John puts up with it, he probably does what most of us do and blank every word she's saying. However uncle John is brilliant he has great car taste the same as mine and always brightens up bad moods shame he doesn't do so with Jenna, so glum.

I drink up my coffee grab everything I need and head off to school going through everything I could possibly think will be on this quiz in my head.
As soon as I reach school the bell rings indicating first period good luck Elena you got this extra credit.

And just like I thought, I did damn well I made sure my aim was to at least impress and I did just that, quite proud of myself actually. I catch up with Yas and Bon, I tell them about the woods and they were all apologetic for not being there when it happened. However they were giving me the eyebrows when I mentioned Damon, he was just trying to help is all but Yas is adamant that he is "into" me. Damon is older than I not by too much but he probably already has the perfect girl lined up back wherever he came from any guy that hot would do am I right? I bet she's stunning too, probably more good looking than I
I feel a spring of jealousy in my mind? What is wrong with me? I have no feelings? I'm practically a ghost I just walk among the living like I belong? If anything Damon is just a friend who actually gets where I'm coming from.... I think.

Lunch is same old drama also known as Yas and her boy trouble she doesn't know which guy to pick the hot bad guy or the hot good boy erm hello girl every 'bad' has some good and every good has some bad you're just desperate. I over hear her as I'm walking up towards the table discussing me "why doesn't she just go for him I know I would he's hot! Elena is just selfish he's clearly into her she's just a little damaged" although I'm stunned that she couldn't just say this to my face she's right, I'm selfish I'm damaged but doesn't she think that I already know that?! I'm without a doubt pissed

"Well Yas imagine being so desperate for some guy that everyone will apparently be jealous of as he's with you of all girls what a joke I'd rather be damaged than desperate for someone to make you pregnant in a few weeks" I'm sick of it people pussy footing around me afraid of saying things to upset me so they go off saying crap behind my back of all people Yas should understand me. I don't care how right she was I'm understandably pissed! I drop my lunch tray on the table and walk off in a strop which I haven't done since I was like 5 or something.

I go In a search for Jeremy which isn't hard only one place he Tyler and Matt hang out, stoner central behind the school bins how hygienic of them so gross. "Elenaaaa" Tyler grins one of those horrendous creepy looks... no thank you Tyler I've known you as long as I've known Jeremy take your paws elsewhere please. "Jer I'm going home just thought I'd let you know" I spat towards Jeremy then walk away before I get high just from the stench of these boys. I leave the school grounds regretting not driving today it's absolutely freezing the sun is out but it's useless at warming anything I stick my earphones in still hella mad at Yas I walk home to the only thing that makes me happy, my dog even she smiles more than I. I'm startled by the beeping of a car beside me the dark windows roll down. Thank god for Damon.