Reckless Love

Chapter 6

'20.11.15
Dear Diary,
I feel like I have been sleeping for days I feel like I could sum up my current life in four single words; eat, sleep, school, repeat. It sounds like words to a shit song we all once knew and loved.
I walk izzy every now and again but I just have no point in anything. I still haven't made up with Yas I'm completely avoiding anything including a particular dark haired individual. It's not just a constant loop exactly like an old song on loop that gets shitter and shitter every time. Can I really take this on any longer?...'

We all have Facebook we all have Instagram, snapchat, twitter, iMessage it's great right? Except for when you're all alone with the only person popping up on screen is 'dad: dinner is ready' and yes of course I'm feeling sorry for myself I apparently do that the best

"Elenaaaa stefans here" my dad yells up the stairs and I hear him invite him in and point out where my room is what the hell dad.

There's a light knock on the door I groan and the door opens "so that is what Elena Gilbert looks like, I recognise you from somewhere" he jokes ha ha hilarious
"What do you want, I could have been naked" his eyes go rather wide. Just get straight to the point please.
"You to stop moping people actually worry. And also that would of been an actual delight if I was at all interested in you" he raises an eyebrow and walks quite vastly towards me "you keep a diary?" He questions rhetorically pointing at my diary
"Yes I do and no you cannot read it" I snatch it before he could even get the chance to move even the smallest muscle in his body and he laughs at me as if I'm stupid "I don't want to read it I wouldn't want anyone to read mine, I was just making conversation" yeah right, you'd probably say anything
"She Elena were going to get you out of this nest you have created, get dressed meet me downstairs when you're done we're going out" Stefan smirks and gets up to leave the room "where are we going??"
"To let some sunshine to your pale skin" he points out how milky I'm looking and I fold my arms I am not pale!

Once I'm ready I go downstairs and we head straight off to his car and I see Yas "this is a joke right" I laugh sarcastically
"Elena no get in the car you two will sort your differences I'm sick of seeing you both walk or drive past me in a morning on the way to school with faces like thunder you two are friends. Get over yourselves" I'm a little taken back but there's something about his voice that makes me feel cold so I just get in the car anyway
"Hey" Yas begins "hey" I barely whisper
Stefan gets in the car and we drive down to the grill "we're going to have lunch" Stefan announces as if I'm even hungry?
I leave the car first followed by Stefan "I'm just going to talk to klaus for like a second" yes whatever Yas of course boys are always more important
"So Elena what are you hoping to do once you graduate?" Stefan makes small talk which is more than I can say for Yas "college me bonnie and yas always had plans from growing up but I don't know how they'll hold up"
"I think it sounds great I've saw the book including the colour palette Yas has put together for the dorm, she's quite....creative" he laughs and I laugh a little too as I remember the memory of making the book when we were kids creative just isn't a strong enough word
"I'd say control freak or organisational freak" I laugh and sit down I look around the grill to see where the waiter is and I spot Damon leaning up against the bar looking right back at me as he necks a shot, his out of shape eyebrows are furrowed but even from across the room I can see how blue his crystal like eyes are, he doesn't break the stare and his lips curl into a kind of smirk. He seems baffled I mean after all I am sat here with his rather pushy brother who even Damon knows himself I am not fond of.
"Are you okay Elena" Stefan asks
"Yeah I'm okay, is he" all though I've been avoiding him I still think of how he's doing
"The alcohol has sure contributed but he's as well as expected, you should talk to him" Stefan says quietly, I want to talk to Damon I'm just afraid it will turn into a silly little debate again
"I will just not now" Yas comes back to us her blonde curls resting over her shoulder and her smile gleaming as usual she sits next to Stefan and they give eachother a long smile which brings me to believe I'm definitely missing something here "Stefan just admitted to seeing the dorm book" I smile and laugh at Yas to make effort, lets see if she'll bite we're both just as stubborn as eachother "he did and he ended up full of glitter just from picking up the book, that's what he gets for snooping" she winks at me and smiles a smile with 1000 words, her smile tells me she's sorry and she's hoping I forgive her and Stefan just frowns like a spoilt baby

"Elena I'm really really sorry, I was just trying to hopefully give you a push at something and I never should of, I know and understand completely why you got upset I- "Yas it's okay" I stop her in her tracks else she would just carry on and on all day
"I forgive you Yas I was hurt but you were also right, I just don't listen to anything, you know me stubborn as hell" I throw my arm out just like the Emoji on an iPhone keyboard
Yas laughs her lips are light pink just like her jumper, she loves a good colour coordination
"Yes well you are taught only by the best on the world of stubbornness" I nod in agreement as she says this, I look back at Damon who is now sat on a stool, his boots resting on the pole on the stool and his boxers slightly above the waistband of his jeans, I think today my stubbornness ends.
I turn my attention back on Stefan and Yas who's attention is also on Damon then back on me, "I hate to sound like a broken record Elena but Damon likes you as we all established get your arse over there Gilbert" Yas is careful with her words
"If only I had the confidence of you yas I don't want to ruin my friendship with Damon" I sight and curse at myself internally
"Look Elena when Damon was friends with you yes he was extremely happy, but so were you everyone knows that, by distancing from one another that's not a friendship that's going to be ruined it already is ruined because you won't admit how great Damon made you feel, because you think you don't deserve happiness, but the truth is you do and so does he and you make him happy and he does you" Stefan preaches his speech and I know full well he is right I wouldn't even know how to respond if I wanted to.
"You're right" I put my phone in my pocket and grab my purse
"Where are you going" Yas panicked
"Stefan is right, you were right" I walked as slowly as ever over to the bar my heart was pounding any second now it's going to explode!
I take the stool next to him and he only turns his head so slightly to see if it's me.
"Bad date huh?" He asks while taking a sip of his drink, his voice a little husky
"Not a date, Stefan had me and Yas be friends again" I explain
"My brother the hero, here's to Stefan" he necks the rest of his drink "so you want a drink" he offers as he waves at the bar tender
"I'll just have a lemonade, underage and all" I smile, he intimidates me but I cannot help but also like it, I face him more and prepare myself
"Damon I apologise for being a little distant, I feel like I don't deserve happiness but I'd be a complete liar if I said you didn't make me happy, it's just I've never really had feelings like this before, Damon I like you, a lot I just hope 'us' wouldn't ever consist of arguments" I sigh, what a shit speech I was lost for words okay! I take a drink of my lemonade and wait patiently or impatiently for some kind of response, his lips are curled up into a half smile "that's the funny thing Elena, I don't like you" I look over at Stefan and Yas who look eager and worried "Elena I don't like you because I fucking love you, in the short time I have known you you've helped me more than you can imagine, I get jealous when I see you with your friends such as klaus or even my brother, you make me happier than anyone in the world when I'm around you but i thought you wasn't at all interested especially in Georgia with the barmaid thing I shouldn't have done that" he loves me? But it hasn't even been that long he can't love me?
"Of course I'm interested have you seen you" the words came out before I even thought of them
"Well what can I say" he winks at me, typical big head, he takes off his jacket and stands to put it on the back of his stool
"You can say something to your brother who is watching like a hawk" he turned his head scowling at Stefan who latches straight onto Yas as soon as he sees Damon catching him watching. I'm shocked I kinda had a tiny idea but wow "oh yeah that happened" Damon nodded toward the couple who are still avoiding Damons glare, I laugh I'm so freaking happy for Yas.
"Kinda weird that we're now staring at them" I laugh and turn back around
"Well lets act like we wasn't staring" Damon stands infront of me, he holds both his hands on my jaw/cheeks and flashes me a grin before pressing his soft lips right onto mine, my belly flips.

I lay staring at the ceiling crowded by my own thoughts, I need my diary.
"Penny for your thoughts" even the sound of his voice clouds my mind here I am laying in bed next to the guy who intimidates me the most, though I don't answer him I can tell he's thinking all sorts too.
"I never realised how huge your room was" I make conversation diverting him away from his pennies and my thoughts
"That's what you were thinking about?"
"Yes I mean I've been here before but still" this house is crazy big - the old Salvatore boarding house now just holding three fine gentlemen
I get up from Damons humongous bed "I need to pee"
"Well you don't need to know where the rest room is" obviously as it's right there, he has the biggest bathroom I have ever seen damn it's even bigger than my whole house! My feet walking across the cool tiled floor is enough to make me cold.
I hear him talking on the phone he sounds in high debate
"No!! What do you mean! Do not say it Stefan!, are you absolutely trying to kill me!!!!!!!" He sounds royally pissed and I have to dare myself to go back to his room
He sits on the edge of the bed drinking a glass of bourbon with that angry face. I don't dare ask what is wrong I just sit in silence...