Reckless Love

Chapter 9

Damons p.o.v -

Flashbacks of my fathers not only mental but physical abuse rattles me almost every day, though I am surprised when the memory of my mothers passing sends me over the edge, I lay with my head in my arms and I begin to cry, I hate her for leaving me with that man but I miss her!

"Damon?" Shit I stay still before finally lifting my head and everything is spinning "you look as bad as I feel" she jokes to herself
"Elena" I squint my eyes why is there four Elena's stood before me?
"What are you doing? Have you even showered lately" her voice echoes in my head I'm only just able to hear what she's saying
"No ma'am" I shake my head, fuck don't do that it spins faster
"Have you been drinking?" Rhetorical question? "Yes ma'am" I slur
"Me too, look I hate you but I'm too good to just leave you out here like this" she sucks in the toxic smoke and releases "so come back to my house, my dads away with Jeremy" she dates herself to say, but that is the only sentence I hear properly she's fucking alone in her house? Is Stefan invited in? I worry, I know I shouldn't take the offer but I want her safe. I nod and she helps me to my feet and we stagger to her house
"Why were you crying?" She asks as she practically shoves water down my throat, ok maybe a little exaggerated she only passed me water but her judgy eyes said more im a fucking vampire surely why I was crying is the least of her worried I curse at myself why did I 'have' to know her!? "Elena I feel better than I deserve and I'm not entirely sure that you actually want me here? Though I wouldn't ever hurt you I know deep down that you think I will" her eyes shift away from me and she knots her perfect eyebrows "I believe you" she whispers and looks at me through her lashes, she believes me?what?
"I'm lost" I admit
"I believe you wouldn't hurt me....intentionally" she whispers again
"Lena I didn't tell you about Stefan because I didn't want you to run from me and I also didn't tell you because I didn't want to believe he could do such a thing, I thought he had changed" I sigh, where is this going everything's...wrong it's so fucked up!
"He broke up with yas, I didn't tell her though. But Damon I still don't understand why I look like the girl?" Shit me either baby
"You and me both, the first time I saw you I thought you was her until I met your father, she is a vampire too much older than I, Stefan is looking for her but I think if I be with you or she knows about you I am too frightened she could hurt you" and I'm hopeless I cannot promise to protect her fully I can only try
"Why would she hurt me?"
"I don't know that she would but I also don't know that she wouldn't, has Stefan ever been in your house before Elena? Think hard" I hope that bastard hasn't been invited in
"Yes he has"
FUCK
"Okay I need to stay here, Stefan is invited in" fucking brilliant! I'm beyond angry
"What does that mean?" She's worried
"It means now he's invited in, he no longer needs permission to come into your house, for example if he wasn't invited in even if the door was wide open he wouldn't be able to walk in without you, your father or Jeremy saying he could come in" I don't even know if I'm making sense "is he going to come" she eyes the doors and windows, too late now, he's invited
"If he has brains he wouldn't bother, but as a vampire, we can run fast and hear far"
"Show me" she's enlightened? Can't we tell she's had alcohol "show you what?"
"Run, upstairs and back"
I laugh, she wants me to run for her? Is this her trying to understand? I do as she asks and she's laughing but shocked and then she's back to scared quiet Elena fuck fuck fuck.

"I want you to sleep in my bed with me I'm kinda scared of Stefan now"
"Tomorrow I will get you some vervain and steaks"
"You're going to cook?" I laugh out loud "why are you laughing" she's confused but I still laugh
"Vervain is like acid to a vampire, and I meant wooden steak it's the most successful weapon when fighting or killing a vampire" I explain to her and she turns red of embarrassment, like she was meant to know? It's not her fault
"You're telling me what weapons are harmful and could kill you?" She asks
"I do hope that's not what they will be used for"

I'm not entirely certain on the time but I haven't had a wink of sleep, feeling myself sober up for hours and the early hours of the next day creep up. My bladder is basically overflowing I've never needed to pee so much. But Elena, she's asleep on my lap she looks peaceful when she sleeps and I cannot help but smile at how god damn perfect she is, her eyes resting steady breathing and her mouth slightly parted. I move a lock of hair from out of her face, it's soft and well looked after, I tuck it behind her ear and plant a swift kiss on her head.

Night turns to day and the light beams through the crack in the curtains and shines against Elenas skin, it gets brighter as the morning comes, her eyes twitch and her mouth closes as she presses it into a hard line, she's awake she just doesn't open her eyes. Not a morning person huh? This makes me smile, I am actually in love!

"I hope that one day soon you can find it in you perfect self to forgive me, I have lied numerous times trying to protect you but you're a strong smart young woman I realise that. I am in constant awe of you and my love will remain forever" I whisper to her knowing she's pretending to be asleep and allow her to think that I don't know she's awake. Though her lips part slightly asif she's going to speak and then they close again.
After another five minutes she gives in to the day and blinks a few times
"You're awake?, good morning" acting like I didn't already know "and as much as I've enjoyed watching you sleep I need to pee" she quickly moves thinking I didn't see her blushing and I go to relieve myself.
I help myself to a spare toothbrush while I'm up here because I imagine my breath smells something rotten, in the bathroom I find a hairbrush probably Elenas, I help myself and make my hair more presentable.
Downstairs I hear her in the kitchen, following the sound and soon the smell of coffee I'm handed a large mug of coffee and she takes her purse from the counter retreating a pack of cigarettes and shaking the pack at me.

Elena follows me on the front porch, we sit side by side on the swing bench the neighbours close by are playing in the fresh snow, as a family, a happy care free family making the best memories. I envy their happiness and their lack of worry for the world around them, I sit the cold is barely felt but I can see Elena is however cold. I place my mug beside me and my cigarette between my lips/teeth and slip off my jacket and put it over her shoulders, she smiles a little and takes another drag inhaling and exhaling little clouds of smoke to and from her lungs. She seems calm and peaceful but deep down I know she is far from.