Reckless Love

Chapter 5

I run through the cold streets of Georgia I'm pretty sure I'm headed the right way I ask a few people along the way as I begin to panic I'm lost, they give me directions but there's just too much left right left left left right up down side to side what the hell I have zero sense of direction. I ask an elderly couple and they calm me a little and let me know I am just around the corner I shiver around the corner and hell yes I see the place I am all for the weather as this snow is delightful when crunching under my feet but it's just I can no longer actually feel my feet. I walk towards the room Damon Had and I'm shivering it's so so cold I sit on the ground all cuddled into myself I regret everything as I sit here with time to thing about how I reacted to Damon. I would love nothing more this second than him to walk round that damn corner... but he doesn't I can no longer feel any part of my body I'm hunched beside the door in the snow and even my tears freeze up on my face, it's like never ending brain freeze all over again the bitter cold send me to sleep,
It's cold in the forest I'm running my body hurts my feet give way and I stumble to the ground

This is the night after the dance. I jump and I'm back awake I don't want to relive that. I want to get up and sit in reception except I can't I'm stuck here I'm too cold to move, I cannot stop the crying and shaking I'm out here in Georgia where I've never been before and Damon is gone. My eyes close again for a few minutes.

I get up off the ground it hurts so much, I see him I see Damon "DAMON" I'm shouting I'm actually shouting, he can't hear me he's gone the other way "NO DAMON. DAMON PLEASE. Please don't leave me out here" my shouts turn to whispers.

"ELENA...elena I'm right here wake up Elena wake up please you're safe you're with me Elena"
Its all dark but I'm warmer, im in the dark where am I "hello?" I cry
The lights switch on blasting my eyes with brightness "Lena you're okay you're inside I'm here" he rushes over and holds me. I'm such a idiot all I do is cry and panic I'm so weak "Elena I found you outside you were asleep in the snow baby you were dreaming when shouting me I'm here now you're safe" he hushed me.. he called me baby, okay that's weird, earlier we were hating each other, what did I miss? I'm 17 not a new born pls no.
"Damon I'm so sorry" I apologise "I've been a nightmare this whole time"
"HEY" he raises his voice a little but not harshly "you have not been a nightmare and you have nothing to be sorry for you were just upset and drunk and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable when talking to the barmaid, she was so not my type Elena" he too apologised and I felt better we just got on the wrong end of the stick with one another, I would be a mess all the time if it wasn't for Damon these past few week. I have what look like men's PJ bottoms and the hoodie I had on earlier today, I think these are Damon's bottoms because I'm pretty sure he has none on but I won't look, I want too but I'll pretend I don't know. "Thank you for finding me" I look at him and he nods his head.
We must have fell right asleep as when my eyes blink open it's very much the morning outside, I look at Damon and he's already awake
"How long have you been awake?" I ask
"I haven't been to sleep, but it's okay as long as I knew you slept" he whispered "breakfast then home?"
"Absolutely but I need to shower and I have no clothes yet again" I panic and Damon shuts me up "way ahead of you, I stopped at another store last night, clothes toothbrush sprays or whatever I got everything there was towels already here yesterday in the bathroom of you pop" he winks, I'm impressed Damon Salvatore you good man
I turn the shower on and make it a quick one in case Damon needed to use it, I brush my teeth and make myself feel more..me, give myself a quick lecture then go back.
"You have good taste" I tell Damon, yet again black skinny jeans with a flannel shirt
"I know right, you look dashing, how are you Elena".
To be honest I feel like shit and he probably knows it but he also probably knows I'm gonna lie
"I feel not so bad, thank you Damon for bringing me here, it was beautiful, and I really do apologise for talking to you the way I did at the bar" I side beside him and he turns to face me a little "what did you mean when you said you might not want to be saved and that you didn't deserve to be" he looks kinda sad when asking like these questions have been itching at him "I don't really know I guess I thought maybe if I'd have died that time you found me in the forest I may have saw my mother again, or maybe I didn't deserve to be saved as a punishment for being the reason she is gone, I will always blame myself, and I know deep down I'm not the only one who blames me for it, I know my father blames me" I look up and Damon looks disappointed "but I had to save you, I couldn't just let you die? You are not to blame Elena and you sure as hell don't deserve anything bad happening to you, you're bright and the strongest person I know and if nobody sees that about you then so what Elena because I do and you should too!" Here we go again my selfishness struck me down once more.
"I am far from strong, I am a wreck, an abomination, I fail at everything I even fail at this friendship! And that is exactly what everyone sees about me because they're probably god damn right to think that. They would only be lying if they said otherwise" why are we doing this again.
"So I'm lying to you now? Hell I do not think otherwise because I am not an idiot and neither are you so wakey wakey Elena Gilbert you find a way to wake up each morning that is strong, you do not fail at this friendship and you are definitely not an abomination" why does he care so much
"Then why do every time I wake up I regret the day before it begins! I feel alone in this world nobody understands me Damon nobody but....but you" I sigh and he looks at me "Elena please understand you suffered great loss, I'm here for you and I'm sorry that you feel that way, just know you always have me"