Shameless - Mickeys POV - Gallavich

Possibilities - part two

I pace back and forth waiting, waiting for him to get home. If I don't tell him now, I'll never tell him and I need to tell him because I deserve some short of happiness in this shitty life I have. I deserve to be real with myself, real with Ian. I don't know if he'll want to be with me and if he does, I don't know if we'll be together forever. All I know is that whatever time of pure happiness I can get, I'll take. Gladly. I owe myself that much.
Terry walks through the door and slams it behind him. This is going to be bad, so bad but it's going to get done. The loud crash of the door makes Mandy walk out of her room. She looks at me with wide eyes as if she's trying to tell me not to do it even though she's the one who convinced me in the first place.

"Dad?" I say before I can change my mind. He turns towards me and goes to speak but is cut short by Mandy's voice.

"Hey Mick, come here for a second." She says quickly.

"In a minute Mandy."

"Mick, please. Just a minute." She pleas.

"Go shut your sister up already." Dad roars so I walk over to her and she pulls me into her room.

"I know I told you that you don't have to pretend but he's piss drunk. Maybe now isn't the best time for this Mickey." She tells me urgently.

I look out the room towards my father, stumbling and mumbling words to himself. He is very drunk, he could kill me. But if I change my mind now then I'll never allow myself to change it again. I need to tell him now, even if it kills me.

I look at Mandy and shake my head. "I know you're worried but if I don't do this now Mand, I'll never do it." I say as I walk out of her room. She grabs my arm and pleas with me to stay there with her but I pull my arm from hers. "I'm tired of being scared Mandy, don't you get that. I want to be free." I tell her and walk out to face my father.

"Dad, I need to talk to you." I say as I reach him, face to face.

"Ya ain't holding a beer for me so the fuck ya want?" He yells.

"I want to tell you something that you're not gonna like." I say low and slowly.

He stares at me, waiting.

"Well, I'm gay. I'm fuckin' gay." I yell. "So fuckin' gay!"
It looks like it takes him a few moments to process what I'm saying before he opens his mouth and then closes it again. He looks like he's struggling with his words. I relax for a minute and let my words sink in.
"Yeah, I'm gay, gay, gay." I say again. I feel better just saying it out loud because it feels real when I do.

Before I can think of it anymore, Terry's fist lands into my jaw bone as he punches me, two, three times, if I remember right. I'm on the floor with him on top of me and Mandy trying to pull him off.

"No son of mine is going to be gay." He screams. "I'll fuckin' kill you boy."

He punches me again, I can feel the blood in my mouth, running down my face but it feels worth it. It all feels worth it because I don't have to pretend anymore. I can just be me.

"Then kill me because I'm gayyyyyyyyyyy! And that's not changing pops!" I scream back.

He punches me some more, standing to kick me next. I try to cover my ribs and my face as best I can but I can feel them starting to hurt. I close my eyes and think about Ian to try and get through this ass beating. I think about walking right up to him and kissing him no matter who is around, telling him how I feel and not caring who hears, not caring what anyone thinks. Because I'm free now. Free from all this bullshit.

All of a sudden, the hits stop and I open my eyes. Mandy is trying to help me up and I look around for Terry.

"You take your homo shit and get the fuck out of my house." I hear him scream and I find him lying on the floor, Ian on top of him, punching him and holding him down. "Get your shit and get the fuck out boy. You ain't my son anymore." He yells again.

"I'll fuckin' kill you if you put your hands on him again." Ian roars out and stands up, kicking him in the side as he does. "You like that shit, being kicked while you're down? You fucking animal." He yells.

Terry doesn't say a word. He's too drunk to think of anything I could imagine. I make my way towards Ian and grab him by the arm. "It's enough." I tell him as he looks at me.

"Is it?" He tells me, nodding towards my face. It probably isn't enough of an ass whooping for Terry, he's probably done worse to my face and stomach, but it's enough for me, because Ian's here and I can tell him, tell him everything I want him to know.

"Lets go." I tell him while grabbing his hand to walk out. He looks down at our hands together and then looks over at Mandy and then me. "Outside." I tell him as I look over at Mandy and tell her to come too. She grabs her coat and runs out with us.

When we get outside Ian let's go of my hand and turns toward me. "What the fuck was that all about? Mandy calls me, tells me you may die and my god look at you. The fuck did you do." He yells at me and all I can do is laugh and smile at him. I probably look crazy laughing with a bloody face. Laughing hysterically, causing him and Mandy to laugh and smile with me. "You're insane." He tells me.

"But I'm free." I tell him smiling. He doesn't get what I'm saying though as he looks at Mandy with and eyebrow raised. "I'm fuckin' free." I scream to the world.

"Mick, what are you talking about?" He asks.

"I'm gay and fuck, do I want to be with you." I tell him.

He looks over at Mandy and then back at me. "You told your dad you're gay?" He asks quietly.

"Fuck yes, I did."

His smile widens ten times more than it was and he storms toward me, taking me into a full and strong hug. It hurts so much as he squeezes me but it feels too damn good to tell him it does.

Ian pulls back and looks at me and then my lips and then back at me as if he's asking if he can. I smile at him and kiss him taking him by surprise. I pull back and push my forehead to his. Mandy comes into hug us together and kisses both our cheeks.

Ian looks at me, pulling out from our embrace. "Let's go to my house, I'm sure Fiona wouldn't mind you staying with us for a while."

"Really?" My eyes go wide. "I was just going to go to the shelter on Monroe."

"No boyfriend of mine is going down to some shelter and if you do need to go there then I'm going with you." Ian tells me with a serious face. But all I caught of that sentence was the word 'boyfriend'.

"Your boyfriend huh?" I say, smiling.

His face turns red and he smiles. "If that's what you want to be Mick."

I pretend to think about it for a moment before I kiss him again. "Of course I do." I tell him.

He smiles proudly, "Well then let's go home boyfriend." He grabs my hand and Mandy's and walks towards his house and I can't help but feel like it's all going to be alright, like this was meant for me.