My Life As Ariana Grande's Little Sister

Chapter 15: Valentine's Day & A Memorial

Carlene's P.O.V

It's Finally Valentines day. Some reason any holiday that I should be excited for but I am not, I just stop thinking about Beatrice. No one and I mean NO ONE deserves to have cancer. Especially seeing her that last time, I knew I should of slept over. I just can't stop thinking about her. Tears drop down every time I think about it. Well I am not the only one upset, Kendall is upset as well.

We wrote lots of meaningful statuses up on Beatrice Facebook wall.
I posted a picture of Beatrice's wall, It was a collage of me, Kendall, and Beatrice. I wrote
R.I.P
Beatrice Millers
1995-2014
Beloved Daughter
friend, cousin, & sister

Lots of people liked it. It was very special, some people say seeing her before she died was a lot better than not seeing her at all. I mean yes that is true, but I rather see her alive then dead. I wanted to be with her, all I am thinking that I should of stayed with her. I should of came back to Florida right when Kendall told me to.

Kendall was so upset, she wanted to come with me back to LA. She doesn't know what else to do without Beatrice around. I don't either, I don't think I know what to do with life. We were crying our eyes out. I didn't even get out of bed this morning. Although I was still in Florida for the funeral. I don't know if it's creepy, but I have dreams about Beatrice still being here like right next to me. Even though I can't see her I can feel her.

Her funeral was two days before valentine's day. I am never really excited for valentine's day. Every time I think about valentine's day I think of what happened in freshman year.
It was a tragic memory, I just can't forget about it. Every time I think about it I just want to hit my head on the wall until the memory is gone.

In freshman year I had a crush with the one guy. I knew him since Elementary school. I never thought I would like someone like him. In Freshman year, he was like any kind of guy; sporty, smart, always showing off, and flirts/joke around with every girl. I always had a problem with him, how he is a player.

Well he never cheated on anyone before. I asked him out two months before valentine's day in freshman year. Then valentine's day came and he broke up with me. Three days later I found out why he did that. He like someone else, that really hurts when someone you love found someone that makes them happier then you did. It's like how they let them do this with their own precious stuff, but you can't when you were with him.

It hurts every time I think about it. They lasted together for almost a year. I don't know what happen with them now. I mentioned he was never a cheater, but he has a problem of expressing his feelings. He wasn't messed up either, when he found out that I figured out why he broke up with me, he apologized. He even checked up on me if I was okay. I got better everyday after that, but not because of him trying to cheer me up everyday.

It was because that's when I finally met Kendall and Beatrice. All middle and the first semester of freshman year I had friends, but I got into too many fight with them, and now we're never talking to each other again. I met Kendall when that guy kept bothering me everyday at school. She told him to back off, and since her dad is a cop, he taught her how to defend herself.

She grabbed the guy's arm and twisted it to his back and I can hear a little bone crack. It sounded so nasty, she almost got suspended for that. Good thing she didn't, he moved schools after what Kendall did. Then all of a sudden I started talking to Kendall and we became friends.

I also remember when I met Beatrice too. When I met Kendall, Beatrice was Kendall's best friend first. When she came back, Kendall was hanging out with me at lunch. Then Kendall introduce me to Beatrice. Beatrice got a little jealous because she thought I was taking her best friend away. Just thinking about her and how we met makes me wants to cry even more. Oh gosh I seriously miss her so freaking much.