These Days are Dangerous [COMPLETED]

Look At All That Pain

"This is Grace.

Have you ever wondered what dying is like? I do. I wonder about what happens after death. Some people say that you go to heaven to live in peace and harmony. Others think you go into hell to suffer for the wrong doings you've done in your time of living.

Then there's the people like me who believe in oblivion.

The world is already hell. No matter the good things you do. I think that when you die, there's nothing. Your consciousness isn't active so you're not really aware that you're floating in nothing. I'd love to think that maybe there's an all and mighty God that would shower me in love and happiness but the world is too cruel to let that happen. I've come to terms with death. Maybe it can be the only escape that one has.

Gerard seems to think so.

You may be surprised that I know these things but, really, I'm not an idiot. I see the light silver lines that skim their way across Gerard's wrists. I notice the way he looks at his gun or how his hands shake every time he has to take some sort of pill. I'm not new to the whole suicidal thing. I've had my fair share of depression. Now, I know what your thinking. You're thinking "hey you're only twelve! You're only going through a phase!" Yeah.. no. I'm not. I've been this way for a year now. Better Living can only numb me so much to the point of breaking.

I'm too much of a coward to do anything to myself though. Plus, I need to stay alive for Tyler. Did I mention we were twins? Huh.. must've forgotten that.

I felt something a week or so ago; before I met Gerard and the boys. It was like, my heart being ripped out of my chest. Korse promised me that it was a panic attack and that I'd be fine with the pills but things have been different from then on. The world seems... darker.

I was convinced that somehow, Tyler was dead. I kind of think so now. Gee told me that there's nothing to worry about but.. I don't know.. call me crazy but there's this glint in his eyes. This.. secret that I'll never know.

My thoughts are killing me.

Sometimes, I hope they do.

Sorry for the short rant. I.. have a lot on my mind after seeing what happened in the stump house. Maybe I'm going crazy too.

I'll leave you at that then.. Grace, out."

A/n: sorry for the short chapter! It's a filler! I swear, next one will talk about Ray and his condition. I'm not sure wether or not I'm going to let him live. Guess you'll find out sooner or later. Love y'all. Stay safe. Don't let the vampires bite ;)