This Isn't About Reya

Chapter Eight

Svetlana's full name was Svetlana Jekaterine Ivanna Antoninov Nechayev. Her three middle names were all in honorable memory of her grandfather, his father, and his father before him.

Once, when she was very young, she asked her mother why she had been named after men.

"Svetlana," her mother had said, "It is important for you to understand that gender does not matter in this society. Whether you are male or female, you can rise through the classes and achieve glory above all else."

Svetlana still remembered the gleam in her mother's eyes, the deep thirst for power, driving her life and controlling it, manipulating it. Svetlana hadn't recognized the look then, but she remembered it now.

"Gender does not matter," Svetlana repeated to herself, sitting on the edge of her bed, alone in her trophy case of a room.

She remembered her mother's voice: arrogant, enthusiastic, and desperate all at once.

"Your grandfathers were all very renowned for their strength," she had said. "They were officers in the Metel'. They controlled vast armies of snezhinka, all of them. It was said that they could single-handedly invade any hypernation in the galaxy, and they would win."

The awe Svetlana had felt. The pride.

"They were stories, of course." Her mother laughed. "But they were almost true. Your bloodline is legendary, Svetlana. You were named after your grandfathers to honor them, and to remind you of the name you uphold. Remember this always."

Always remember the names you uphold, Svetlana.

Jekate, Ivan, and Anton - they are your lineage, your blood, your strongest asset. They hail from the mother country. Do not dirty your blood, lest you dirty their names.

Uphold their honor, Svetlana.

Daughter of Svetlar Nechayev, granddaughter of Anton Nechayev, great-granddaughter of Ivan Nechayev, great-great-granddaughter of the famous Jekate Nechayev, who led the suppression of the Great Khazik Uprising. 

So much prowess and warfare and bloodshed littered her pedigree. But she had been bred to be proud of it.

She had been bred to continue it.

She had been bred to be male.

But she was an only child.

She stared at the lines in her hands, tracing the curves and eyeing the shadows. She curled the fingers, examining the chips and cracks in the red-painted nails. They had been flawless before yesterday.

Now, she didn't even care.

A headache began to grow in the base of her neck. Svetlana squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed them into their sockets with her palms. She felt so tired, so confused.

Honor. What was it?

She wondered what the honorable thing to do would be. One part of her told her that she should honor the authority of the NSU, but another part told her she should honor Reya.

Honor. Reya had saved her life, despite the cruelty that Svetlana had forced upon her. Reya deserved her honor. 

That meant she should honor her promise and tell no one about the shadow in the woods.

But her mother would want her to tell the authorities. Inform the military. Whatever was in the woods was dangerous. It had almost killed her, could kill anyone walking past those woods, was probably planning to kill Reya even know.

Her honor told her to protect her nation. And whatever that thing in the woods was, it was definitely a threat to the NSU. 

By protecting her country, she would protect Reya, and her honor would be returned. She could protect anyone else who ever walked down that road, but that would mean going back on her word.