Sam.
My fingertips graze the spines of each book as I scan through the young adult section, then grab at a blue book, finding the book I'm looking for. "Here you go." I turn to the teen girl who had asked me to find this book after her own difficulty in her search.
"Thanks!" she smiles a braces-filled smile at me, and I do my best to smile back, trying to ignore the fact that she is bluntly staring into my eyes. I mean, I'm pretty much used to it by now, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
"Do you wear contacts?" the words leave her lips as we walk to the check out counter, and I surpress the sigh threatening to escape me. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me those exact words...
"Yeah." I lie, not meeting her gaze as I ring up the total of the book. I've never been a good liar, so I avert her gaze as I give her the change. "Have a nice day."
The door dings as it closes behind her, leaving the bookstore empty, besides the shuffling of Karen stacking books in the back, humming quietly to herself. I sit back on my stool, pulling out a book from the counter top. However, my mind is elsewhere.
I imagine My Girl walking to the bookstore, her sneakers scuffing on the ground slightly as she wanders in, her eyes scanning the books. I imagine her going to the non-fiction section, looking over her shoulder at me as she senses me staring at her. She would blush and tuck her hair behind her ear as I've seen her do as she sits in her backyard when it goes astray in her face. She would find a book, and approach the table, a shy smile that would send my heart fluttering playing at the edges of her lips. I would smile back, and our hands would touch like they do in the movies when she hands me the book, and my eyes would meet hers. She would recognize them, but not say anything. I would ask for her name, and she would reply...
"Sam Roth." fingers snap in front of my face, snapping me back to reality. Karen looks at me curiously on the other side of the counter. "Are you alright, dear? You look distracted."
"Yeah, I'm fine." I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
"I really appreciate you coming in, Sam, but you look like this is the last place you want to be." Karen observes. I feel my face grow a little warm at her observation. I hadn't meant to come off that way-- I just let my thoughts get the best of me.
"Hey, I'm the one who came in here willingly, remember?" I cock an eyebrow, half smiling. "But I think I will head home." I glance at the clock on the wall. It's been two hours since I left, which might be two hours longer than what Cole should be left home alone for, I realize.
"Alright, see ya, Sam." Karen waves to me in goodbye as I head for the door. I half wave back as I leave, the bell dinging as I do so.
The cold air nips at my neck as I head to my car, my keys jingling as I fish them out of my coat pocket, the other hands firmly planted in my pocket, my teeth clenched as I walk to my car. I fumble with jamming the key into the lock, my hands already trembling. My stomach churns unpleasantly as I hop into my car, slamming the door shut behind me, causing snow to slide down my windshield from the sudden movement.
After putting the key into the ignition and hearing my car roar to life, I crank the heat all the way up, muttering words to a poem under my breath, trying to keep my thoughts of the words and those words alone as I press my hands against the vents.
After I've collected myself, I begin to drive home, my knuckles white against the steering wheel.
I can't shift. I just can't.
A rumbling sound snaps me out of my thoughts. The car is producing a grinding noise, and my speed is steadily decreasing, although my foot hasn't moved an inch off the pedal.
My heartbeat's speed intensified as my car rolls to a halt on the side of the road, idly rumbling until it just stops altogether.
I have to stay calm. I will not shift. I will get the car running again.
I try starting the car a couple times, but it is no use. I lean my head on the middle of the steering wheel in frustration. I don't have a phone to call Cole...
I try to ignore the tingling sensation in my fingers as the cold air seeps through the car, drowning me, suffocating.
YOU ARE READING
I Just Want You to Know Who I Am | shiver fanfic
Fanfic[DISCONTINUED] She didn't even scream. I remember her brown eyes glazed over, her chest rising and falling harshly with memory of breathing, clinging desperately to the bits of humanity she still had within her. I wouldn't let my pack kill her. Not...
