Brothers Through It All. ~Cashby & Kellic~

~2~

Kellin's POV

I watched Alan as we walked through the mall. He was constantly tugging on his sleeves and was standing really close to me. He was nervous. Usually he was fine, but from time to time he got like this. I bumped into his shoulder.
"You okay?"
"Yes I'm fine." He said and smiled at me.

Alan and I walked into HotTopic and as I was going through the shirts I heard a loud crash. I turned beside of me and Alan was laying on the floor a shirt display and another human on top of him. The guy had brown hair in a quiff like style. He scrambled up and immediately pulled the display off of Alan and helped him up.
Once Alan was up I watched as the guy went to speak but stopped. He stared at Alan.
"Umm I-I'm sorry." Alan said and pulled at his sleeves. The boy snapped out of whatever trace he was in and spoke.
"It was completely my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm Austin by the way."
"Alan."
"Alan." I heard him say quietly. "Cute."
Okay time to step in.

"Alan you okay?" I said coming beside him. Austin looked between the two of us and his face fell a little.
"Yea. We just kinda made a mess." He said gesturing to Austin and the shirts on
the floor.
"I'm Kellin." I said.
"Austin."
"So Austin. I've never seen you here before."
"I just moved here."
"Let's walk and talk." I said and we walked out of the store. I made my way to the food court with the two of them following behind me.
"What grade are you in?" I heard Alan ask from behind me, while I looked for a table.
"Twelfth. You?"
"Tenth. Your in the same grade as my brother."
"Who's your brother?"
"Kellin." Alan laughed and I turned around to see him pointing at me.

"You're brothers?" Austin asked slowly.
"Yep." I said popping the 'p'. He smiled and let out a breath.
"Thank god." He said and Alan looked at him confused.
"Al he likes you." I said matter of factly.
Alan's eyes got wide and he looked at Austin.
"You are fucking adorable." He said and Alan blushed, his face the color of his hair.
"Cool it down a bit. He's my brother and i won't hesitate to kick your ass." I warned and sat down. They followed, Austin on the other side of the table and Alan was beside of me hiding his face.
"So you two look nothing alike." Austin pointed out.
"My mom married his dad when I was five and he was three." I explained.
"Ohh. That makes sense." We sat in silence and suddenly a phone rang causing all of us to jump.

"Sorry." Austin said before pulling out his phone and answering it.
"Okay be right there." He then him up and turned towards us. "I have to go, but hopefully I'll see you guys tomorrow. Oh and Alan." He grabbed a pen on a nearby table and wrote his number down on the back of a receipt, before handing it to Alan and making his way towards the mall exit. Alan stared at the piece of paper in his hand not knowing what to do. He looked up at me, then back down at the paper.
He smiled and put the number in his phone not saying a word.

"Come on let's go buy some crap." I said and pulled him up from the table. We roamed the mall for a couple of hours. I took note of when Alan would eye a piece of clothing. Whether it be a t-shirt or a sweater. I needed to pick him up something for his birthday. His eyes lingered on a white dress on mannequin. His eyes flashed with emotion, happiness, sadness, anger, all at the same time it seemed. His face finally settled on a saddened expression and he walked briskly away from the store window and I followed after. He waited until we were a few stores down before mumbling that he wanted to leave. We walked in silence back to the car and once we were in I turned to look at him.

"Alan there is nothing wrong with it." I said cautiously, he hated talking about it, he acted like it didn't even exist.
"Kellin please don't." He said quietly.
"I wish you would just be comfortable with yourself."
"How can I Kellin!? Tell me and I will. The way they laughed at me in the dress will always be there in the back of my mind. I'll never be accepted " he started crying. "I'll never have a chance to find someone who likes me for me. Who wants a freak that likes girls clothes? No one. That's who. Plus how do you think dad will react? He already threw a fit that I was gay. I disappoint him enough and this would be the icing on the cake." He put his feet in the seat and drew his knees to his chest.
"Alan-"
"Just please take me home." He said quietly. I started the vehicle and drove us silently towards the house.

Alan's POV

I loved Kellin, I did. He was my brother, but it was times like these that I wish he would understand to keep his mouth closed. I didn't want to be reminded that I couldn't wear what I wanted. I didn't want to trudge up to my room and cry, but that's what I did. I couldn't help it. I was buried under the cover and was silently sobbing. I hated how they teased me. I couldn't help what I liked, could I? Maybe I could. My brains wired different apparently. Fuck why couldn't I just be normal I thought and curled as far as I could into the blankets.

I don't know how long I laid there but eventually there was a knock on the door.
"Alan dinners ready." It was my mom, well step-mom technically, but I've never seen her as anything besides my mom. She been around since I could remember.
"I'll be down in a minute." I said and pulled the covers off of myself as I heard her footsteps retreat down the hall. I walked over to the mirror to see if it was noticeable that I had been crying. My face was slightly reddened but otherwise I was okay. I look at the reflection in the mirror. In angered haste I slung the girls sweater off and threw it in the corner. I grabbed a t-shirt from my drawer and went downstairs.

The table was already set and i took my seat across from Kellin. He smiled at me and I smiled back letting him know everything was okay. I reached for the green beans that same time as my dad. I let my hand drop back down and waited until he was done.
"Alan honey are you okay?" My mom asked looking at me.
"Yea." I said confused.
"Have you been crying?" Great. I thought it wasn't noticeable.
"Sad movie." I said dismissively. She nodded and didn't say anything else and went back to filling her plate.

"Crying over a movie really Alan?" My dad said with a hardened laugh. We had a strained relationship. I was never the son he wanted. I wasn't some athletic, trophy winning one. I was the gay, book smart one.
"I couldn't help it." I mumbled.
"Well you are-"
"Micheal I swear if you dare say what I think you're going to."
"What Susan? Gay. That's part of the problem." Dad said to my mom.
"I'm gay!" Kellin shouted, already done with this conversation.
"Yea but you don't live up to the stereotype."

"What he hell is that supposed to mean!?" Kellin was pissed. This wouldn't be the first time he had got into a fight with my dad over me.
"You actually do guy things, no one could ever tell you were gay! Alan is too... girly. He lives up to the rainbow wearing aspect. He's a sissy." I sank down in my seat.
"There is no difference between him being gay and me being gay!" Kellin shouted again gripping the edges of the table.
"He's he one that takes it up the ass not you! That's the difference. If he's going to be gay he couldn't at least be the one on top." My dad shouted angrily.

I got up from my seat and pushed it in quietly. I walked out of the dining room and up to my room.
"You're an asshole!" I heard Kellin yell. I got dressed in some sleep clothes and got under the covers of my bed. Maybe my dad did have a point. I was more 'girly' I guess but I couldn't help it. I wasn't tough or great at athletic things. I've tried to make him proud of me but it's not possible. I sighed and listened to my dad  and Kellin argue. Eventually it stopped and I heard steps coming up the stairs. Kellin walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Your dad kills me. Don't let anything he says bring you down Alan. Your great."
"I know Kellin." I lied.
"Now move over and let's watch American Horror story." I made room for Kellin and he laid down grabbing my laptop and going to Netflix. After hours of watching Kellin fell asleep. I moved my laptop to the bottom of the bed, being quiet so I wouldn't disturb Kellin. I curled back under the blankets and went to sleep.