Pleuvoir | Eric Coulter

Labing-dalawa

K a r o l i i n a

It wasn't the gun, it's the man behind the trigger who released the bullet.

That was all I could think of as I watched Four whip out a gun, aimed it at the target before him, and pressed the trigger. The bullet ricocheted loudly, hitting the middle of the wooden target like it was paper. The cracking sound that it emitted was enough to make me shake. Soon, I'll be the one doing that.  

I took a step back when Four approached me, a gun in hand. It was heavy in my arms, reminding me of the burden I will soon take when I position myself in front of the target and fire. My steps were slow as I walked towards the target, my nerves were rattling inside me like wild snakes. Breathe in, breathe out. No more Abnegation, Karoliina. 

You're in Dauntless, act like it.

My mind was whirling with thoughts I preferred to keep to myself, and it didn't help that Eric was standing off on the side, arms crossed and face blank of emotion. A common gesture from him, but nonetheless intimidating. 

"Start!" Four's voice was tense, and I couldn't help but notice how he keeps on looking over to Beatrice every three seconds. Huh, I guess he was taken with her.

My ears rang when the initiates started firing their guns. With my arms shaking, I positioned myself in the right stance and pressed the trigger.

Bang

The air was knocked out of my chest as soon as I released the bullet. I was thrown back because of the sudden force, feet sliding against the gravelled ground. My gun had clattered to the floor, and now all the initiates' eyes were on me.

I coughed, palming my chest in pain. Footsteps were the only thing I heard a second later, the shooting had stopped, the chatter had ceased. Black boots appeared in my vision as I struggled to breathe in air.

"What was that?" His voice was frighteningly calm, opposed to the usual tone Eric had. I expected an angry voice, one that would make me freeze in fear. This voice, however, had me shake and tremble, unnerved by its calmness.  

"I-I..." Tears stung my eyes. Oh god, here I go again. I knew what was to come: scolding, harsh words, punishment. But despite knowing, I still wasn't ready.

"You know what will happen next, don't you?" He asked, and I clenched my fists when I felt him breathing down my neck. Curse this bloody height gap.

I could only nod with all the eyes on us. I couldn't possibly cause a scene and dig a deeper hole for me. I knew what it was like to be in rock bottom, I didn't want to experience it again.

...

Visiting Day was today.

I sighed as I watched the Pit get filled with people from various factions, initiates getting welcomed by their family with warm hugs and kisses. The Pit has never been this more colourful before. Dozens of colours littered in it, people dressed in whites, reds, yellows, but of course, grey was nowhere to be seen.

I guess nobody visited Beatrice, too.

Walking towards the staircase leading to the roof, I kept my head down. The black long-sleeved I was wearing helped conceal me, and the big black boots that were a standard for the initiates made me feel a bit more blended in with my surroundings.

My arms hurt when I pushed the metal doors aside, still sore from the punishment from Eric yesterday. The punishment was very different from the usual ones. No, it didn't involve skipping meals, nor taking books from Quentin. No, it was me hanging from the Chasm for ten minutes.

It wasn't a lovely experience. My arms almost gave out when I was only two minutes in, and Eric decided that stepping on my fingers as I hanged from the Chasm's ledge was appropriate.  My pinky was broken from that experience, but all was well. I survived, nonetheless.

I breathed in a sigh of relief when I met the fresh air blowing on the roof. My hair was whipping past my face in untamable curls, my eyes were even starting to close at the air's strength. But, I gladly welcomed it. I embraced the pain. Fighting it won't be a help when I'm trying to cope.

The skies suddenly clapped, and a lightning soon appeared, breaking the peace I was enjoying. Thunder roared like it was protesting, the clouds darkened, and the surroundings dimmed. 

One raindrop, two raindrops, three raindrops. The roof became littered with water pellets after that. I didn't move as the rain hit me and made my clothes wet, I didn't acknowledge how the water was seeping into my boots. Standing in the rain felt almost anaesthetic. I felt like the pain was being washed away from me, breaking down my walls and taking away my worries. I felt emotionally drained.

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

I closed my eyes in frustration. Why does he always show up when I've found my peace? Why does he always pop up in the most unlikely situations? Why is he always around?

"Are you fucking blind, huh? It's raining."

I let the insult wash away from me and blocked his words. Not now, please. Not now.

A splash was heard, and when I looked at the source of the sound, I found a black umbrella resting beside my feet. Looking up at Eric, I gave a subtle nod in his direction and faced the pouring skies again.

"You're not even going to say anything?" He scoffed, and I didn't react when he walked towards me and picked the umbrella, holding it up our heads so we were shielded from the rain.

"Tomorrow is the last day for Stage One of training, you know that, don't you?"

My silence was his answer. Eric breathed in deeply, and it didn't take a genius to know that he was annoyed. His hands were rough as he dragged me to the side, still holding up the umbrella above us.

"I won't ask again, why are you here?"

I looked at him in his dark eyes, appreciating the hint of colour green in them and said squarely, "There are certain things that I adore. I like the rain."

The thunder boomed, the rain didn't cease. It was a placid day.