Pleuvoir | Eric Coulter

Dalawamput-anim

E r i c

As our eyes start to close from fatigue, Karoliina and I lay in my bed. I don't mind the sheets that are disarray, nor the light that I forgot to turn off that streams from the corridor to my room. From the sound of her breathing, though, I notice that she is already asleep, off wandering in her dream world.

I, on the other hand, am wide awake. My eyes are starting to close, yes, but I can't seem to get sleep no matter how hard I try. Whilst I lay in my bed with her beside me, my throat constricts. I suddenly feel the warmth she emits, and I can't help but want to bask in it forever. With my hands on her waist and her back against my chest, I realise how much I hated being alone.

It's been so long since I held someone like this.

I suck in a deep breath and pull her closer to me, curling my arms tighter around her waist. She makes me feel less lonely, that is sure a fact. She takes me back to a place where my demons don't exist. She takes me back to a place where the voices in my head don't drown me out.

She is my haven.

I don't think I can sleep tonight, I conclude to myself. I am stone cold sober, my eyes wide open. I can't sleep tonight because right now, it feels surreal to have a girl like Karoliina in my arms.

And it's all I can think about.

∞

"Stay here today."

My tone is soft as I say those three words. Karoliina looks up to me from under her long lashes, her lips forming into a small frown, "But Sammy might--"

"I'll take care of him."

I am being selfish, but I don't give a fuck. I am finally with someone I like, and she likes me back. Genuinely. That is rare so I'd like to make the best of it.

It takes a few seconds before she responds, but when she does, my heart beats faster in my chest.

"I'll stay."

Warmth surges in my chest, firing up every part of me. I don't think I have felt this kind of happiness before. It's nice to feel it.

I walk towards her slowly, and I watch with a small smile when she starts fumbling with my shirt. She looks small in it, like it's swallowing her. But, she looks better than I ever can in it. She looks mine.

I reach out my arms and grab her shoulders gently, pushing her to my chest a second later. I feel her nuzzle her face into my neck, and a shiver travels through my spine. My hand clutches her waist whilst I bury my face into her hair, and soon I am surrounded with her scent. She smells like roses.

We stay like that for a long time, our heartbeats in sync with one another. I get attacked with the voices of demons in my head, but they can't hurt me now. They can't reach me. I have someone with me now, and she showed me how to get rid of the burden I am carrying.

∞

"Are you sure about--"

"I am."

My voice is laced with finality as I pull her out the door. Both of us are hungry, considering that we didn't take breakfast. I have to pull her with me so that she'll walk because her feet keep skidding to a halt every time we see people coming towards us.

"It could be hard," Karoliina says from behind me, "When they see us and word travels. This is Dauntless, Eric. A gossip runs like wildfire and it destroys the person involved greatly and--"

"Are you ashamed of being seen with me?" We stop in a dark corridor, although I still see how her eyes glaze over in guilt.

"No, I'm not," She answers me, her head bowing towards the floor, "It's you I'm worried about. What will they say when they see you with me? They'll say bad things, for sure. A fearless Dauntless leader with an Abnegation transfer that's so silent she's practically mute and--"

"I don't give a shit," I interrupt her, grabbing her hands and lacing it with mine, "We're us, not them. They don't know anything, nor should they think our relationship is their business. We can't stop them from talking, but we can learn to stop giving a shit over what they have to say about us."

A determined look crosses over her face as I feel her hands clutch mine tighter, "Yeah, okay. They can eat their own words."

I let a smile take over my features, "That's the fucking spirit. And for the record," I pause to look at her with a smirk, "Do you really think I'm a fearless leader? Because I think so, too."

A smack is heard and she laughs her way to the mess hall.

∞

I feel their stares at us.

Fuck, if I can just blast everyone here with a gun, I would. The way they watch our every move and whisper about it amongst themselves is making my blood boil. What's wrong with them? Don't they have something better to do?

"You'll have that face forever if you don't stop frowning."

I grit my teeth as Four slides into the bench across Karoliina and I. My eyes narrow as he pushes a plate of cake in our direction.

"Want some?" He asks as he munches on some cake.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My voice is harsh. Karoliina's hand grasps mine from under the table.  

"Well, you're attracting too much attention. I figured that you don't mind some extra." He shrugs, and I swear my hands twitch at the thought of ramming his head on the table.

"Get the fuck out, Four." I snap.

His eyes lift to meet mine, and I see them sparkle with humour, "If you don't like attention, why come down here in the first place? You know that they'll stare, you know. I don't get the point of you staying here."

"We were fucking hungry," I snap once again, my eyes narrowing even more, "What the hell were we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, cook yourselves food, maybe?" He says sarcastically.

"You little fu--"

"Eric, let's just go." Karoliina says beside me, and once again, I see that her eyes are downcast.

"Yeah, why don't you listen to your girlfriend. Showing her off to the entire faction doesn't seem like her type."

I want to punch him, I really do, and maybe call him a few insults, but Karoliina drags me away before I can deliver my blows. With a frown, I lead Karoliina back to my flat.

Asshole.