absolutely wonderful [joshler]

epilogue

the ceremony is quiet and small. only a few people attend are in attendance, but that's okay. tyler wouldn't have liked a crowd.

there've been some speakers, family and friends we haven't seen in years. my mother didn't make me go up and speak, which i thank her for, because it would have eaten away at me till the end of time.

the last speaker comes up, a boy with fiery red hair and gauges. joshua.

"tyler was the best thing that ever happened to me. he was so soft and delicate i thought i could crush him if i wasn't careful.

"a few hours before he passed, he gave me a letter to read to everyone. i didn't think i would be able to come up here and share it with you, but i felt not doing so would be an insult to his memory." josh pauses for a moment to get out a piece of paper in his front pocket.

"dear family and friends," he reads.

"i don't know how to start this. i would say hello, but that's kind of hard to do when you're dead. and you know what else is hard to do? say thank you to each and every one of you for being in my life.

i'd like to thank my mom first. she's been there every step of the way. heck, without her, i wouldn't have even been alive. god, you've been so strong, mom, standing up to dad and protecting me. even though i had that stupid cancer, i'm glad you were there to help me through it. thank you."

my mother brings her hand up to her mouth, muffling the sound of crying.

"a huge thank you to jenna," josh continues. "you've taken care of zack and madison and jay for so long now, you're part of the family. thank you for being there when my mom couldn't, when we were at those dastardly doctor's visits and whatnot. please continue to be the jenna black we all know and love. keep teaching madison your makeup skills, because heaven knows she needs them."

everyone chuckles.

"and zack and madison, how could i forget you? you little devils always kept me on edge. without you, i wouldn't have smiled as much as i did, and i thank you for that.

"and jay."

my throat clenches as my heart almost beats out of my chest. i don't know what i'm so afraid of, maybe the recognition tyler would give me even though i gave him very little.

"i know we've never gotten along. but we couldn't have been brothers if that never happened. and after all this fighting, it's me who's finally gathered the courage to say i'm sorry. i'm sorry i wasn't the brother you wanted me to be. i'm sorry i couldn't be the role model dad expected me to be. i'm sorry that we didn't spend as much time together because i wasn't feeling well enough to do so. i'm sorry that i didn't say sorry earlier. but i thank you for the lessons you've given me."

my vision goes blurry with tears. i feel so, so, so guilty about the way i treated tyler. i only realized what a jerk i was when i saw tyler laying in bed at the hospital. he looked like he was in such pain, and i couldn't help but feel as though i caused that pain.

"and lastly, i want to thank josh. you've given me the best months of my entire life. there were so many things that i love about you, the way my name rolled off your tongue, when you first asked me to be your boyfriend, your soft lips on mine. but my favorite part was being called yours, all yours, your absolutely wonderful."