Deadpool the Story, Book, Novel........????

Chapter 3 - Its ALMOST coming in 35 days or so

It took about 10 minutes to get to Doctor Strange's place from Cock head's Observatory, or whatever I said his name was, and as soon as I got to Doctor Strange's door--

You rang the door bell?

No.

YOU BLEW IT UP WITH C4?

Yes! He fixed it with his magic crap anyway so it didn't matter.

"Come in, Wilson" he said calmly while floating in thin air. "I was expecting you." "Why?" I replied. "Well.." he said, "You did just blow my door to smithereens and ran in yelling crap about a satellite or something." "Crap I almost forgot" I said, "The reason I came was because I was at Dr. Hock's and I killed him but thats not important and I was gazing at the stars like a boss and I saw a giant Satellite much bigger then Earth that was dropped off by a Skrull ship near Uranus and I did some research about it and it has a big laser on it that is ment to destory Earth on the 7th of July this year and its the 2nd of June so I panicked and shot myself in the head partially to shut up the voices in my head which you promised to take out." Doctor Strange turned to me and said "You really need to shut up---". "And then I called my mum and told her that I loved her and then I realised I don't even know my mum so I cried for a while and then called Wolverine and he answered and as soon as he heard my voice he hung up so then I decided to come to you and yes you were probably my last decision.

Seriously, shut the fuck up

ACTUALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP.

"Charmed" Doctor Strange said. "As your final desicion I am sorry to say that there is nothing I can do but to wish you and the world goodbye as I am now leaving the planet before I get destroyed.

I THINK THAT WENT WELL.

That did NOT go well at all. He turned us down. Now we are all screwed.

He was serious readers. He siad..

xcestorrbf tehynosaftri jdoa..

Or some shit like that. All I know is that It ended with Ella Magica or some mystical mumbo-jumbo like that. Anyway I ran out of his already fixed door (yeah, I know) and hit the ground singing Earth Song by Michael Jackson.

Why?

I Don't know?

YOLO MY FRIEND. YOLO!

After I finished the second chorus, I pulled out my Pool-O-Phone, called my Poolmobile and drove off-- none of that happened. I called a Cab, Shot the MEXICAN driver between his eyes and drove off to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

I thought it was Xavier's Institue for Higher Learning?

Yeah so did I until Wikipedia said it used to be called Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

WHAT-EV'S BRA.

...........

...........

Once I got there, I opened the doors, everybody screamed, I got my body thrown across the building, My head choped off, my balls squashed, my arm used as some sort-of sadistic golf club and my tied up body (with all my limbs and balls back on) thrown into the office of the Prof. himslef, Professor Charles Xavier.

"Speak, Wade" Charles said. "Your honor" I said being smart--

You smart? HA

"I was at the Observatory and saw a big satellite and.....

I went on and on about the story until Wolverine shut me up way earlier then Doctor Strange did.

"I see" the Prof. said. "When I was in the future, I forsaw this happening but its happening early." "So what your trying to say Chuck is that Deadpool isn't crazy and delusional and you believe him about his story?" Wolverine said. Charles looked at Wolverine, smiled and said " He is Crazy but he is correct. Call the Avengers, and Storm, Call *gulp* the Gaurdians of the Galaxy". Everyone including me looked at the Professor in an are you serious look. "You want to involve thoose space pirates?" Storm asked. C.X smiled and said " This is probably a bigger deal then Galactus because no-one knows of a weakness for this particular satellite"

THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE CHAPTER.

The most intense chapter so far.

How are you going to end this chapter?

With a joke.

Oh God.

ITS A PRETTY GOOD JOKE. I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE.

Okay here I go. Ahem......

What do you get when you cross a Penis and a Potato

?

?

A Dictator! Dick-Tater. Tater is another word for a potato!

Yeah we get it, its shi--

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *WHEEZE* AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.