My Life Being Dead

My Life Being Dead, Chapter 9

I was very upset that it was the weekend. Normally I would be rejoicing, but now the weekend only meant that I couldn’t see Adam until Monday. I know I had no right to feel attached to him, but I couldn’t help myself. I was already a horrible person before, but now I had coveting on my rap sheet. Saturday night I laid in bed, suddenly lonely and wishing my mom would come back from Wisconsin early. It was pouring outside, and the rain always made me extra clingy. I was just on the brink of my dreamless sleep when I heard a loud knock at my door. I looked over at the clock. It was 12:30. I trudged downstairs, and opened the door.

Adam was standing there, soaking wet with nothing but a t-shirt and jeans on. Of course he wasn’t cold, but I could tell from his expression that something was wrong. He didn’t wait for me to invite him in, he just walked past me and sat down on my couch.

I closed the door and shook off my shock. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I don’t even know why I’m here.” His voice was hoarse.

I sat down next to him, but he didn’t lean away from me like usual.

“Melody broke up with me.”

“I’m so sorry.” I had the feeling that this was my fault.

“It’s not your fault, I just.” He sighed and sat back. “I was sleeping, and I was dreaming about the strike, and about you. And I said your name in my sleep. She got the wrong idea, and she didn’t understand.”

It was my fault. And for some stupid reason, I started crying. “I’m really sorry.”

He groaned. “Would you stop it?? It’s not your fault. Stop being such a pushover!”

I tried to stop but I couldn’t. I ruined his life, I was a horrible person. I put my face in my hands and flat out wept.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one consoling me?” He didn’t sound angry, more like frustrated.

I sat up and nodded. “Sorry.”

“Yahh you said that already.”

I hung my head. “So you don’t think you’ll get back together?”

“Knowing Melody she’ll probably never forgive me. And she won’t give me the chance to explain.”

“So… Why did you come here?” I didn’t know what else to say. The guy that I have a crush on is sitting in my living room at 12:30am because his girlfriend broke up with him. Because of me. It was kind of my obligation to listen to him.

“I don’t know.” He looked like he didn’t know.

“Oh.”

He stood up.

“Wait a second!” I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I didn’t want him to leave. I got up and grabbed his hand.

The fire stung and burned up my arm and he grimaced, taken off guard.

I let go.

“Sorry. I just wanted to feel it again.” Well I felt like an idiot.

By some strange miracle, he didn’t curse my name and storm out. He just looked at me wonderingly. Then he rolled his eyes and went back to my couch.

I breathed out in relief. I couldn’t believe that had worked!

“Look. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, okay? I really meant what I said the other day.” His words implied a “but”.

I waited for him to explain but he just shook his head and looked down.

“I understand.”

“Yeah sure. What I’m trying to say is, I’m attracted to you.”

I think at that point my brain imploded into mush and my spinal cord melted into sticky goo.

“What? Why?” I tried to make sense of the crazy thing he just said.

“I have no idea. But I am. Not emotionally or shit like that. Just… I don’t know. I guess it’s the lightening strike or something.” He twiddled his thumbs.

“Oh…” I felt like I should say I was attracted to him too but what if I sounded pathetic. He probably could already guess that I was.

He spoke again, “But I mean us ever… Ya know… Is probably out of the question because of the heat/cold thing.”

“It doesn’t feel that bad.” Wait, what was I saying?!

He looked at me. “You’re really not ugly at all, ya know.”

“I’m not sure.” I directed my eyes at the ground.

“No.” He moved closer to me. “I’m serious. You have a nice figure.”

I looked at him sarcastically. He chuckled a little. His smile was like a taste of paradise that left me wanting it all.

“You have a small waist, nice hips, a round ass, reasonably sized tits. That’s pretty much every man’s description of hot.”

I was blown away. No one had ever called me pretty never mind named all the things about me that were attractive to them. I didn’t know what to say.

“Thanks?”

He chuckled again. I was beginning to love that sound.

“Just being honest. Your personality leaves something to be desired but I suppose your body makes up for it. Not to mention those soft lips.”

I was blushing like crazy. I absently bit my lip. “My lips aren’t that soft.” I looked down trying to avoid the awkwardness that only I can bring.

“They are. Don’t you think I’d know? I’ve seen my fair share of lips. I haven’t kissed yours yet but I’m sure they’re softer than most.”

Yet?

I suddenly felt myself getting very bashful and shy. I couldn’t look him in the eyes if I tried.

“Cassidy, I want to kiss you. Okay?”

I was shocked at the bluntness of his sentence. I wanted so badly to say “YES”. Instead I fumbled over my words like an infant. “Umm.. I..”

Fire singed my chin as he took it into his hand and turned me to face him. The fire was still scorching, but it was slightly muted by another sensation. The sensation of Adam’s lips kissing mine. They were perfect. I had spent a lifetime waiting for my first kiss expectantly and now that I was experiencing it, it was better than I’d ever imagined. He broke the kiss and brushed his lips against mine lightly with a smile tickling the corners of his mouth. The smile that felt like paradise, was suddenly more welcoming than ever before.

“Very soft.” His whisper made me smile a little. The fire that still burned my lips pulsed and made them tingle.

He put his hands beneath my arms and moved me to a laying position on the couch underneath him. I could see where this was going but couldn’t remember how to protest. He was touching me. That’s all I could focus on.

He let a hand trail down my side while he pushed his lips back onto mine. He reached under my shirt and suddenly my side was on fire. I startled a little, and so did he. He let his hand roam over my stomach, leaving a trail of warmth wherever he went. It was then that I remembered that I wasn’t wearing a bra. He realized it at that moment too, his hand cupped my breast and when his touch connected with my nipple I jumped. He stopped kissing me and looked at me.

“I’m sorry.”

He kissed me again and flicked his thumb off my nipple. I let out a moan.

“Stop saying that.”

A vibration on my leg broke us out of our bliss. He dug his phone out of his pocket.

“What?!”

I smiled a little. He didn’t want to be bothered because he was with me.

“Okay. I’m coming over.”

He put it back in his pocket and got off of me. “That was Melody. She wants to talk. See you at school.” And with that, he walked out the door.

I laid on the couch, staring at the door, heat still pulsing all over my body.