My Life Being Dead

My Life Being Dead, Chapter 15

I ran to my room the second I regained control over my body. I slammed the door and shoved my head under the pillow. I felt out of control and messy. I longed to have my old self back. The safe one. This person inside; this thing, was becoming too risky.

I curled up into a tight ball and tucked my cell into my neck after dialing Adam’s number. I didn’t know what I would say, but I just needed to hear his voice.

It rang four times and no one answered. I called again. No answer.

The Will inside me screamed and chucked my phone against the wall. It stood up furiously and slammed it’s fist through the plaster drywall. It tipped it’s head back and roared, all of it’s repressed anger bubbling to the surface. I fought against it, trying to bring it back and take control again. It didn’t budge. It had me right where it wanted me. I was no longer in control of my body.

It walked down the stairs, keys in hand, and out the front door. I wanted to know where it was going, but I had no idea if I could communicate with this thing controlling me.

I shoved the keys into the ignition and backed out into the street.

Where are you going?

I thought desperately into my mind, praying that it would hear it.

It spoke aloud, “To do something you should’ve done a long time ago.” It was my voice, attached to my body. I wanted it back.

Give me back my body.

It scoffed and shook it’s head.

It pulled onto the freeway and went in the direction of New Town. Suddenly realization hit me like a brick wall. New Town was where my father lived.

It was at least a two hour drive, my mother wanted to put more distance between us and him but she didn’t want to leave the general area, because “That’s where she was raised.” It was perfectly understandable.

“You’re an idiot for allowing it.” The Will spoke to me, in reference to my thoughts.

Maybe I am.

For god’s sake it was probably right. I could never do anything right, or be anything good. I was a loser. And thinking that I wasn’t is what got me in this mess in the first place.

“What got you into this is not knowing how to be angry. And not realizing that you are entitled to everything everyone else it. For god’s sake, we’re practically better than everyone else!”

It said “we’re”. Does that mean it’s me? Is it another me?

“I’m you 2.0.”

Do you have a name?

“I just said that I’m you, stupid. Our name is Cassidy.”

This was so confusing. She was using my body. I was using my body. But then how come I couldn’t control it?

“You’ll get control back once this is finished with. I have a few things I need to take care of.”

What are you going to do to him?

She shrugged. “Something good, don’t worry.”

How can anything about this be good?

“Revenge is sweet, darling. You’ll thank me later. Or rather, you’ll thank yourself.” She pulled off on an exit that would lead to a road that was a straight shot to my father’s house. The maker of my pain was at the very end of it, and he had no idea what was in store for him. I had no idea what was in store for him.