My Life Being Dead

My Life Being Dead, Chapter 10

 Sunday was like a day of hell and torment. Sitting on my couch, replaying our encounter over and over. Wishing he’d come see me again. Hoping he still wanted me. By the time Monday morning came I was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and from worrying.

I roamed the halls trying not to look like I was searching for him. I didn’t see him until lunch, when I spotted him at the table with Melody. They were laughing and smiling and they even hugged once. This was like a stab to the heart, but not an unexpected one. I couldn’t expect him to just drop his relationship with this insanely gorgeous girl that he loves just because he thought some loser who got struck by lightening was attractive.

I prayed there was a note at my locker after lunch, but there wasn’t. I went to my biology class with dread. I almost knew it would be awkward.

Adam was already seated when I reached our table.

“Hey.”

He nodded in my direction.

He didn’t even say hello. I started to think that maybe I imagined the whole thing and nothing had actually changed, until he turned towards me and started talking.

“So we can forget Saturday night, right?”

“Uhh.. Okay.” No. Not okay.

“Great.” He smiled and turned his attention back to making googly eyes at Melody across the room.

I put my arms on the desk and rested my head down on them. I forced myself not to cry because I was at school. Anywhere else and I would have broken down.

Adam didn’t notice my discomfort throughout the class. He was completely occupied with Melody. Was it possible that they were even more in love than they were before they broke up? Perfect. I had first ruined their relationship, and now I made it stronger. I felt horrible for hating their relationship. I was a horrible person already, but how could I not be envious?

Two days ago he was kissing me and now he wanted to go back to ignoring my presence. It was too drastic of a change.

At one point while the teacher was helping some other student, I turned to Adam.

“Why do you want to forget it?” I tried to hold onto my resolve long enough to get an answer out of him.

He looked at me oddly. “Could you keep it down?” He was whispering.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “Why do you want to forget?” I made myself keep on talking. I wasn’t used to being so persistent.

He glanced over at Melody who was writing something with her lab partner. “Because I’m with Melody, and it was just a moment of weakness. It should have never happened.” He finally made eye contact with me.

I shook my head, summoning every ounce of courage I had. “Well I thought it was great. And you said yourself that you may be attracted to me because of the lightening strike. If that’s true then it wasn’t just a moment of weakness.” That was probably the longest I’ve ever spoken.

Adam just looked at me with his mouth slightly open. He looked around uncomfortably. “I’m coming to your house after school at six, okay? We’ll talk then.”

“Okay.” I fought back my smile from my victory. I was so surprised at how well saying what I thought worked, I deliberated doing it more often. But then I thought about how not many people cared what I thought, and I scratched that off of my self improvement to-do list.

When I was getting up from my last class, I grabbed my bag and noticed a note attached to it.

Meet me at the football field after school.