Supernatural in Real Life 2-Attack of the Killer Clowns

Chapter 4

I wake up confused. Why is there an arm on me? Did I cut someone's arm off in my sleep and bring it back to bed? Then the events of the previous day come flooding back to me. I roll over and look up at Lucifer, who's looking back down at me, a caring smile on his face.
"Good morning," he says sweetly. "Did you have a nice night?"
"Mm-hmm," I responds, not quite awake yet.
"Are you ready to go face the rest of the group?"
I groan and bury my head in his chest. "No," I mutter. "I just want to stay in bed all day. Can I do that?"
"No, sorry," he replies. "Come on, let's get up."
"Or we can just lie in bed," I counter.
"Unfortunately, we actually do have to get up eventually."
"Will this change your mind?" I ask, and press my lips to his. I cup his face in my hands, and he holds me tight as he kisses back. I can feel his smile against my lips.
"Tempting," he admits. "Really, really tempting. But no, we should get out of bed."
I sigh. "Fine." I roll off my bed, landing face down on the floor. "Is this better?"
"But now I can't see your pretty face."
I blush and roll over, so I'm looking up at him. "Now?"
He chuckles. "Come on." He holds out his hand, which I take to pull myself up onto my feet. I don't drop his hand as we walk into the main room, trying to be as natural as possible in hopes of not being noticed.
"Hey," Osric greets us, glancing up from his phone.
"Whatcha doin'?" I ask.
"Snapchatting my cats," he replies as if that's perfectly normal. He turns his phone around to show us a picture of a cat on Snapchat.
"So, you're Snap-Catting?" I joke.
"Boo!" Gabriel yells. "Get off the stage!"
"I'm not on a stage!" I yell back.
"True!" In a normal voice, he asks, "So, where'd you two disappear to yesterday?"
"Disney World," I reply.
Gabriel looks over at Jared. "How come you never take me to Disney World?"
"Because I don't have magical powers to do that with," he reminds his boyfriend.
"Ah, true."
They drop the subject after that. I'm glad to see that no one really cares about what we did yesterday. When it all occurred, people were talking, but after we let it simmer down a bit, they must have decided it wasn't worth their energy.
"It's been over a week since our last case," Crowley observes. "Do we have anything to do? Like, anything that could even possibly be a case? Even just a really small chance that it's our type of thing?"
"Well," Jensen says. "There's the-"
"Nothing!" Jared interrupts quickly. "There's nothing. No case. Alright, good talk."
Jensen smirks as he says again, "We could check out th-"
Jared clamps a hand over his mouth quickly. Jensen attempts to yell something out, but it's muffled by his hand.
"Yeah, nothing, see?" Jared says with a smile.
"When have you ever wanted to not check out a case?" Osric asks. "Like, there's no bigger thing to focus on. Why don't you want to check this one out?"
"Check what out?" Jared asks, not even attempting to be convincing about it.
"Because it's a-" Gabriel begins. Jared throws his other hand over Gabriel's mouth. Gabriel snaps his fingers and Jared's freezes. Gabriel calmly moves Jared's arm to his side, and Jensen steps away from him. "It's because it's a clown case," Gabriel finishes. He gives Jared a taunting look before snapping his fingers, unfreezing him.
"There's an actual case involving clowns?" Osric repeats. "That sounds... Interesting. What is it?"
"We don't really know if it's a case," Jared says quickly. "It's probably nothing. No need to check it out."
"He's half right," Jensen confirms. "We don't really know what's going on. All we know is that a bunch of people have been killing and attacking people while wearing clown costumes. We don't know why or how, and it could just be some big, elaborate joke between friends that got out of hand."
Ruth laughs. "Seriously? You think a bunch of clowns is a case?"
"It might be," Jensen replies with a shrugs. "We haven't checked it out yet, so I don't know."
"What would that even be?" Crowley asks. "How is that our type of thing at all?"
"Exactly, it's not," Jared answer quickly. "Okay, good talk."
"I don't know," Jensen says as if Jared never spoke. "I don't know what it could be, but it's worth looking into."
"I don't see how this could be a case," Misha admits.
"I could completely off, not being a hunter and all, but it could be," I say. "Cursed objects? Maybe spirits attached to the costumes? Or maybe there's a spirit that either really hates it really likes clowns and possesses the person themselves. It would have to be a pretty upset spirit for human possession, but it's possible. Or maybe it's just a group of demons killing more creatively."
The rest of the group looks impressed. Jensen is the one that responds. "Wow. You really know your stuff."
I shrug dismissively, attempting to hide my pride. "You watch as much Supernatural as me, and you tend to pick up a few things."
"That wasn't 'a few things,'" Gabriel says. "That was, like, the whole freaking hunters' guidebook."
"You even got ghosts possessing humans," Rob observes. "Wow, good for you. I have a feeling you're going to be really useful for our hard cases."
"You're the new smart one," Crowley tells me. "Not that it takes much to be smarter than these guys."
"I thought I was the smart one!" Osric whines.
"Sorry, kiddo. You've been downgraded," Jensen replies.
"Now you know how I feel," Jared jokes.
"Sorry, Jared," Osric says. "I didn't realize I was stealing your thunder. Okay, I did, but I didn't really care."
Jared chuckles. "Yeah, I figured as much."
Suddenly, a shape appears in the doorway to the room. Everyone immediately looks over, and it takes me a moment to realize who is in front of me.
"What are you doing here, Balthazar?" Castiel asks, taking over from Misha.
"I found a 'case' for you," he replies, clearly not approving of calling it that. "I just got jumped by a group of clowns. Twice. So, either I'm a clown magnet, or you guys have some work to do."
"So it is a case!" Gabriel says, mostly towards Jared. "I told you! I told you it was a case!"
"But what is it?" I ask Balthazar.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" he ask, just noticing me now.
"That is an excellent question," I reply. "I'm kinda a citizen-hunter mix person, if you get my drift."
"No, I really don't," he admits. "And, actually, i don't know why I asked because I don't really care. I just want these clowns off the streets."
"Then take care of them yourself," Crowley suggests. "No need to bother us with this stuff."
"I would, but why put in the effort for something you guys will take care of anyway?"
"Do you at least know what's going on?" Rob asks. "Like, what they are?"
Balthazar shrugs. "No clue. Not my job to know, anyway. Just get rid of them."
"What happened to them, out of curiosity?" Gabriel asks him. "The clowns that jumped you?"
Balthazar smirks. "Lets just say, Kansas wasn't wrong when they said we're all dust in the wind."
Gabriel grins. "Nice," he says with a laugh.
"I try," Balthazar replies, wearing the same expression as his brother.
"You seriously should've been a Trickster when you left Heaven," Gabriel says. "With all the weapons you stole, it wouldn't have been that hard."
"I would have been scared or humanity if you had," Lucifer says.
Balthazar looks at him curiously. "Odd, coming from the angel who spent eons in Hell for not liking humanity."
"Oh, I don't like them," Lucifer agrees. "As a general rule, I think most of them are pretty annoying. Still, two pseudo Tricksters would be horrible."
Balthazar's curious look doesn't disappear at his clarification. "Is it just me, or does this guy have a striking resemblance to an angel we know? Except he's way nicer to humans." His eyes land on me. "Wait-No." He looks back at Lucifer. "You're not... Seriously? A human? You know your going to regret that one day. I mean, that's low, even for you. No, especially for you."
"Um, hello? Standing right here!" I remind him.
Balthazar doesn't even glance at me as he waits for a response from Lucifer, who just rolls his eyes.
"Hey, I'm not the only one," Lucifer replies defensively.
"Well, we already knew Jensen was in love with Cas," Balthazar says. "That's no surprise."
"You're missing one," Crowley informs him.
Balthazar looks around, confused. "What-Oh, God. Seriously, Gabriel? You chose Jared, of all people? I can't believe I'm related to any of you."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Jared asks angrily.
"Oh, no offense," Balthazar says. "I just think you're a bit of a prick."
Gabriel frowns. "Hey, that's my prick you're talking about!"
"Not helping, Gabriel," Jared mutters.
"I wasn't trying to," Gabriel replies, smirking. Jared attempts to smack him on the shoulder, but Gabriel takes his arm and pulls him close to give him a kiss.
"Well, as fun as this has been," Balthazar interrupts loudly, "I'm going to leave now, so I don't have to watch..." He wrinkles his nose as he gestures to Jared and Gabriel, who had pulled apart when he started taking. "That."
"You're not going to help with the clowns?" Rob observes.
"If I was going to take care of the clowns, I wouldn't have showed up here in the first place, now, would I have?"
Rob sighs. "You are a serious pain in the ass sometimes."
I look over at Balthazar worriedly, remembering what happened when Rob said that to Lucifer, but nothing happens. Balthazar just gives us a nod as a farewell before disappearing, probably teleporting to Rome or someplace like that. I look at Rob curiously, but he doesn't seem to notice.
"I guess we've got some clowns to kill," Jensen says finally.
"We don't know how to kill them," I remind him. "Or what they are. Maybe we won't even have to kill them at all." I wasn't too big on stabbing demons last week, so the idea of needlessly killing more people that may be possessed by something is not a welcome thought.
"Yeah, but Jared and I will go check it out," Jensen says. "Go talk to the police in places the clowns came from or the bodies dropped. You know, the usual."
"Or someone else can go," Jared says nervously.
Jensen chuckles. "Seriously, Jared? It's not like we're talking to the actual clowns."
"I know, I just..." Jared seems to be looking for a good explanation, but it's clear to everyone the reason he doesn't want to go is his fear of clowns.
"Fine," Jensen agrees reluctantly. "Um... Misha? Do you want to come?"
"Sure," he replies, no longer Castiel. How does he always switch when I'm not looking? "Alright, let's go. Wait, where are we going?"
Jensen shrugs. "Not sure. Where was the last clown sighting?"
"Hold on," Jared says, hurrying out of the room and returning with his laptop. He places it in the table gently and opens it up, typing something quickly. I wouldn't have been able to see it if I was standing right next to him. "So, get this," he says loudly so the rest of us can hear him easily. "The clowns aren't confined to one place. They're everywhere. Um... Nebraska, Alabama, Rhode Island, Kansas..." He pauses a moment. "Ah. So, it looks like the most recent spree would be in Maine. It's only a couple hours' drive from here."
Jensen nods. "Awesome. We'll call you when we get to the police station, and you guys can tune in and see what we get."
"Alright, see ya later," Jared says with a wave as Jensen and Misha walk out. Gabriel snaps his fingers, and I look at him in confusion.
"I brought Jensen's car from the Vancouver bunker," he informs me. "He likes to drive in style."
"His car?" I repeat. "Not a limo? Wait, it's not..."
Gabriel nods. "Yep. Jensen has his very own Impala!"
I can't help but smile at that. I've always loved the Impala, though I'm not sure why. It's cool to know that they actually drive one.
It's quiet for a moment. No one seems to have anything to say anymore, now that Jensen and Misha are gone. It's Jared that speaks next.
"Well, I guess we have a few hours to kill, so... We'll get everyone together when Jensen calls us."
Everyone murmurs in agreement, breaking off into their typical groups. Jared and Gabriel stand in the corner talking quietly, their smiles showing the approximate topic of their conversation through I can't hear it. Crowley and Ruth argue in the middle of the room, and Osric and Rob chat calmly at the table.
That leaves me with Lucifer, not that I'm complaining. We take a few steps away from everyone else, neither of us thinking anything of it. It just seemed that we should talk alone. It's not for any reason in particular, but it feels right.
"Why'd Dean want Misha to come instead of asking Cas?" I ask him.
"You've seen how Cas acts in every sort of social situation," he reminds me. "Yeah, I think we want to keep him away from people for important things."
I laugh. "Ah, yeah, true," I agree. I quickly glance at Rob, making sure he's not listening to anything we say before I ask another question. Quieter, I ask Lucifer, "Hey, why didn't Rob get mad at Balthazar?"
I see darkness cloud Lucifer's eyes, and I know it wasn't the right thing to ask. "Because Rob is a two-faced bitch who doesn't care what any of his angels do except for me. Balthazar could kill every angel in Heaven, and Rob wouldn't bat an eyelid. But if I so much as sass the man, I won't see anything but red for at least ten minutes. Do you see the issue here now?"
"I doubt it's that bad," I protest.
Lucifer chuckles humorlessly. "Oh, trust me, it is."
I frown. Thinking back on it, I should have known better than to ask about Rob. I should have known this was going to happen. Time to change the subject. Only I don't have anything to change it to.
"Sorry," Lucifer mutters, reading my expression easily. "I know you hate it when I talk about him."
"It's alright," I assure him. I can tell by his expression he's still upset with himself for talking about Rob like that, knowing how I feel about it. I wrap my arms around his neck. "Hey, cheer up," I say quietly. "Seriously, stop being so hard on yourself. It's fine." I make sure to emphasize it again, hoping that he'll believe me this time. I place my lips on his, and I feel him smile as we kiss.
We pull apart, and Lucifer just looks at me, a small smile on his lips. He appears lost in thought. I look at him curiously.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask him.
He seems to snap back into reality. "I'm just... Not used to this," he tells me.
"Not used to what?" I ask.
"This," he repeats. "The whole... Having someone who cares. I'm still getting used to it."
"Well, you better get used to it," I reply with a flirtatious smile. "Because I'm not going anywhere."
He smiles back, though it doesn't look as happy as if expect. It's almost a pity smile, though I'm not sure why. "I wish," he mutters, so quietly I can barely hear him. "God, I really do."
"What do you mean?" I ask, unable conceal the nervousness I feel.
He sighs. "Even if you don't leave me, you're still human. As much as I hate to think of it, you're going to die one day, and I'm still going to be here. I just... I don't know what I'll do when I lose you."
I can see the sorrow in his expression as he says this. I hadn't though of this before. It's strange to think that I'll get old, but he'll always be this age.
"Is that what Balthazar meant when he said you'd regret it?" I ask.
Lucifer nods. "Yes, unfortunately. I probably should have thought this whole 'befriending a human' thing through, because I don't know what I'll do when you're gone."
He looks down at the floor, thinking of the inevitable future. I put a hand under his chin and lift his head up so his eyes meet mine. I see a tear forming, and I pull him into a hug.
"Don't think about that," I plead. "You've still got me for years-decades, even. Just stay in the present, okay? Just stay here, with me."
I feel him nod before resting his head on my shoulder. I bury my face in his chest, not letting go of him. I'm never going to let go of him. Not if I can help it.