Supernatural in Real Life 2-Attack of the Killer Clowns

Chapter 8

I follow Jensen out of the bunker, though it feels strange not being flown out. Now that I think about it, I have never walked out of here. In the few times I have left, it was always done by angel power. Jensen slides into the car outside without hesitation, but I can't help but stop and stare. It's an Impala. It's the Impala. I'm right in front of the freaking Impala!
"I know, she's a beauty," Jensen says from inside it-or her, apparently. "You coming or what?"
I feel myself blush slightly as I sit shotgun, admiring the car from the inside. This is the Impala? Everyone makes it seem so wonderful. They couldn't be less wrong. The Impala is beautiful.
"You're fangirling over the car more than you ever did with me," Jensen observes with an amused smile.
"That's because you're car is way cooler than you," I reply jokingly. Okay, so maybe I wasn't joking very much.
"Not cool, Bailey. Not cool."
He starts the car, and Cherry Pie by Warrant starts playing. As Jensen starts driving, I reach over to the radio, but he swats my hand away.
"Driver picks the music, shotgun shu-"
"I'm just turning it up!" I reply defensively.
"You were turning it up," he repeats skeptically.
"Is that a problem?"
He shakes his head. "No, but you like rock?"
"Yes, I do. What, a girl can't listen to rock?" I challenge.
"None of the girls I know do."
"Well, I'm not them," I reply.
"Who's your favorite band?" Jensen asks me.
"AC/DC, hands down," I say immediately.
Jensen grins. "Nice. Hold on," he pulls out a cassette tape (who uses cassette tapes these days?) and is about to change the song, but I hit his hand away before he can.
"But Cherry Pie is the best," I add.
"Pfft, yeah right," Jensen says sarcastically.
"It is!" I insist.
Jensen rolls his eyes and puts the cassette tape in anyway. When I hear the bells ringing, I know exactly what we're listening to.
"Back in Black?" I guess.
"Please tell me that was a joke," Jensen says.
"The album, not the song," I clarify.
"Oh," Jensen replies. "Yeah, Back in Black," he confirms.
"Well, switch to song six," I command.
Jensen nods, seemingly already knowing which song it is. He changes tracks, and Back in Black plays. We jam out to it, both of us knowing all the words. When it's over, he looks at me in surprise.
"You really know your rock," he says with an approving smile.
I shrug, attempting to hide my pride at the compliment. "Well, I've been listening to it for a long time."
"I approve completely."
We lapse into silence, neither of us sure what to say now. The only sound that can be heard is AC/DC blasting through the speakers. That's how the next couple hours are; we sit and enjoy the music together. Finally, we arrive at a house. It's small, nothing out of the ordinary, and it definitely doesn't look like a clothing manufacturing factory. After calling back to the bunker so people know we are here, Jensen hands me a badge, and I check the name on it. Mine says I'm "Bailey Waldorf" and Jensen is "Jensen Statler." I don't even bother asking where these names came from.
As we walk up to the front door, he says, "Let me do the talking."
He rings the doorbell and waits for someone to answer. A young lady, who can't be more than twenty-five, stands in the doorway. She greets us with a polite smile.
"Barbara Mule?" Jensen guesses.
She nods, confused. "Can I help you?"
"I hope so." He holds up his FBI badge, and I do the same. "Agents Waldorf and Statler. We'd just like to ask you a few questions."
Unfortunately, by the time we leave, all we know is that she has been making costumes for years, which is why she has so many, and that she's basically just a normal person with a normal small business.
"That was a bust," Jensen mutters, getting back in the Impala. I join him, and we ride back to the bunker together in silence.
When we get back, the first thing I hear I is a Lucifer saying, "Yeah? Well, fiddle against your soul, cuz I think I'm better than you."
Jensen and I hurry to the room to see what's going on, attempting to be discreet so as to not interrupt whatever's happening.
"Alright, fight me!" Gabriel says. Suddenly, some sort of instrument appears in his hand. I'm assuming it's a fiddle, but I've never seen one before, so I don't know. To me, it looks like a violin. (Apparently a fiddle is a violin. Who knew?) "Come on, Luci, let's go!" He holds up his fiddle. "You and me, right now."
"It's a song," Lucifer says. "I wasn't actually challenging you to fiddle war."
"I don't care. Come on, let's go. Unless you think I'm gonna beat you!" He adds the last part teasingly.
Lucifer sighs, deciding to take the deal, probably just because of the last part of Gabriel's challenge. A golden fiddle appears in his hand. "For song's sake," he explains. "What do I get when I win? You know, cuz you don't have a soul I can take."
"Bragging rights," Gabriel replies. "You first."
"No, you first," Lucifer counters.
"Devil goes first in the song," Rob reminds him.
"Yeah, what he said," Gabriel adds.
Lucifer sighs. "Fine. Just because I want my bragging rights."
He puts the fiddle to his collarbone and takes his strummy thing-a bow? I don't do instruments. I expect it to be a slow performance, but instead it's incredibly fast. His fingers glide across the strings faster than I thought humanly possible. Hell, maybe it isn't humanly possible. They move so fast, I half expect fire to start shooting out of them, or for him to saw them off. It only last about ten seconds, but it's so fast, it easily could have been an entire song at a reasonable speed. He makes his golden fiddle disappear and grins. "You think you can beat that?" he asks, clearly not expecting Gabriel to beat him.
Gabriel just looks at Lucifer in surprise. The fiddle he was holding disappears. "How do you know how to play a fiddle? I don't know how to play the fiddle!"
"Because that's a fair competition," Lucifer says sarcastically.
"No, seriously, though," Gabriel says. "When did you learn to play the fiddle?"
"If you're stuck in Hell for billions of years, you stop being so picky about your entertainment," he replies. "I got it from watching Lilith."
"Lilith played the fiddle?" Jensen repeats, amused.
Lucifer looks at him. "When did you two get back?"
"About the time you started referencing country songs," Jensen replies with a smirk.
"Okay, first of all, country is the best," Lucifer says. "Second, yes, Lilith did play the fiddle. It sounded horrible, because it was in Hell, but she was proud of it anyway."
"Yeah, the acoustics in Hell suck," Crowley agrees.
Suddenly, Osric bursts through the door. I hadn't even realized he wasn't here. He sets a pet carrier down on the kitchen table and pulls out a kitten. "Guys, look! I found a kitten! His name is Jace. Isn't he adorable?" Osric snuggles the kitten to his face before putting him on the ground. He hides behind one of the legs of the table, not realizing we can still see him.
"He's so cute!" I squeal.
"Get that thing out of here," Lucifer says.
"Where did you find a kitten?" Gabriel asks.
"At the animal shelter."
"Why were you at the animal shelter?"
"To find a kitten."
Gabriel just looks at him for a second, then he laughs. "Why did you get a kitten?"
Osric shrugs. "I like kittens."
"I like trains!" Misha adds. I imitate train sounds, referencing ASDFmovie. Misha grins, glad someone else knows them.
"Well, get rid of it," Lucifer says, eyeing the cat in distaste.
"But Lucifer, kittens!" I say happily.
"Can I keep it?" Osric asks, not directed at anyone in particular. Everyone besides Lucifer seems okay with it, though Osric and I are the most excited.
"Hey, Osric, you missed Lucifer's violin solo!" Gabriel says.
"Fiddle solo," Jensen corrects him.
"They're the same thing, idiot," Lucifer tells him.
"Encore!" Osric says. "I wanna see you play the fiddle!"
"No," Lucifer says. "I got my bragging rights. I'm done."
"Please?" Osric pleads.
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"No."
"Pretty please with two cherries on top?"
"No."
"Pretty please with three cherries on top?"
Lucifer sighs. "You're just gonna keep going until I say yes, aren't you?"
Osric nods. "Yep."
"Fine." Lucifer creates a normal fiddle this time, instead of the golden one from his last performance. In a much less excited attitude, he plays some incredibly fast song that may or may not be what he played last time. I can't really hear the music over the awe of how fast it is.
Jace the cat pokes his head out from behind the table and walks up to Lucifer. He starts attempting to climb up Lucifer's leg, and Lucifer stops immediately. The fiddle disappears as he glares at the creature.
"Get this thing away from me before I kick it."
I rush over to him and pick up Jace. "Dude!" I complain. "He's a cat! He doesn't know any better!"
"I don't care," Lucifer replies. "Get it out of here."
I hold the cat close to me and walk away, so Lucifer can't hurt my new baby. The kitten looks up at me nervously, and I pet him gently. He purrs, rubbing his head against my chest.
"See? Bailey likes my cat," Osric says, looking at Lucifer.
"Well, I don't," Lucifer replies.
"Stop being a party pooper," I whine.
"'Party pooper?' What are you, five?" Jensen says, rolling his eyes.
I'm about to return wth a sarcastic remark, but I can't speak. I can't draw in any air. I try to cough, but I can't. I drop the cat by accident, who scurries away. I clutch my throat, a stinging sensation occurring from lack of oxygen.
"Bailey, what's wrong?" Lucifer asks.
I open my mouth to speak, but I can't. I feel my eyes start watering, and I can't stop it.
"What's going on?" Lucifer repeats worriedly. I can see he's not the only one panicking, but no one is sure what to do.
"Do you have asthma?" Jared asks me.
I shake my head, but by now, the world is starting to fade away. My legs give out and I fall. The world starts slipping away slowly, giving into the darkness.
Immediately, Lucifer is by my side. He picks up something from the ground next to me, and it bursts into flames. Suddenly, I can breathe again. I sit up, panting, trying to catch my breath.
"What just happened?" I ask when I can talk again.
"Hex bag," Lucifer replies. "Which means that you were talking to a witch."
"Who?" I ask. I've been talking to a lot of people.
"Um, guys?" Jensen pulls out a hex bag from his pocket. He tosses it to Gabriel, who burns it with his angel power.
"Costume lady?" I guess.
Jensen nods. "Costume lady."
The angels zap us all back to Barbara Mules' house/costume factory, not bothering to take the time to drive. Jensen kicks down the door, and we're greeted by an empty house. After a full search of the property, all that's found is a post it note with an address on it.
"Should we go?" Gabriel asks.
"Hell yeah," Lucifer replies. "If there's any chance this witch it gonna be there, I want to take her down."
"We don't have a plan," Rob reminds him.
"We don't need a plan," Lucifer replies. "Go in, kill a bitch, get out. Simple."
"Gotta agree with Lucifer here," Jensen says.
Rob hesitates, then nods. "Alright. Let's go."
We suddenly appear outside of a giant warehouse. It's old and worn down, seemingly abandoned for years. No one speaks as everyone pulls out their weapons. Gabriel tosses me his angel blade, which I somehow manage to catch without cutting myself. We walk in together, and I hide in the back.
The first thing I see is the crowd of what must be at least a hundred clowns. That's right; it's an army of clowns. I bet you never expected to see that on Supernatural. Then second thing I notice is the statue of a head at the far end of the room. I can't make out much of it, but when I see Barbara Mule standing there with it, I know that's our target.
Immediately, everyone begins fighting the clowns. That's a weird sentence. I hide out against the wall, not wanting to kill anyone. I've had my fair share of murders when I killed all those demons last time. I'm not in a hurry to do it again.
When I notice how much better the clowns are than normal humans as fighting, I realize I have to do something. They have Jared and Jensen cornered, the angels can't use their powers because they aren't demons, and Ruth just doesn't seem to know how to fight.
Finally, I decide to do something really, really stupid. Like, stupider than anything I've ever done, and I've done a lot of stupid stuff. I sprint through the crowds of clowns, narrowly avoiding more knife strikes than I care to admit, until I reach the statue. Barbara Mules stands in front of it, pulling out a long sword. Come on! All I've got us a tiny archangel blade. This isn't fair!
She swings the sword at me, and if I hadn't ducked, she would have decapitated me easily. As she pulls her sword back to strike again, I thrust my blade forward, but unfortunately barely hit her. She just laughs, knocking the blade from my hand easily with her foot. She's about to stab me, but I jump back. In her recovery between swings,
I run up and try to grab the statue of the head. It's really two heads, one on each side, I notice as I near it. I don't bother admiring it, though. I wrap my arms around it, trying to carry it, but I drop it. It shatters, releasing a faint mist. I feel something change in me. I feel... Powerful. Strong.
My heart starts beating faster and faster. I feel its pounding in my skull with every beat. Suddenly, it stops. And I'm dead.

A/N The end! Wondering what happens now? Well, don't worry. There will be a third book! Wait, but how am I going to write a third book? The narrator died! I've got it covered. You'll see. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Also if the statue sounds familiar, it was in a Halloween episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.